New Carolina Panthers Coach Dave Canales Shares Inspiring Story Of Overcoming Infidelity, Alcohol and Porn Addictions In His Marriage
Dave Canales will be introduced as the Carolina Panthers new head coach Thursday and what we're likely to hear is how he's going to fix a franchise so broken it has shuffled through six head and interim head coaches the past five seasons.
You'll hear what plan Canales has for fixing quarterback Bryce Young in the same manner he fixed Baker Mayfield in Tampa Bay this season and Geno Smith in Seattle before that.
But the story that is more compelling, which you may not hear about, is how Canales fixed his marriage before he addressed any of his professional challenges.
Baker Mayfield and his former offensive coordinator Dave Canales helped the Bucs win the NFC South. (Photo by Cliff Welch/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)
Dave Caneles News Conference Thursday
Canales, you see, faced sexual infidelity and addictions to alcohol and pornography during his marriage to Lizzy Canales.
We know this because a little-publicized book by the couple outlining their struggle with those problems gained attention this week.
The book is "This Marriage? The Question That Changed Everything." It was written by Dave and Lizzy and published in September of 2022. And it is fundamentally about how the couple used God, counseling and, yes, painful transparency with each other, to rally from a marriage that seemed headed for divorce to one that thrives today.
Canales is already on the job in Carolina and attending Senior Bowl practices in Mobile.
He is not speaking about the book (or anything else), the Panthers say, until Thursday. But his story and his marriage with Lizzy is a known topic among those close to him and his walk with God.
Dave Canales Career Didn't Match Marriage
"Dave and Lizzy are the epitome of what Jesus imagines married couples should love and live like," Denver Broncos quarterback Russell Wilson writes in the publicaton's marketing marterial. "The power of Jesus' grace and mercy over their lives is so evident.
"Dave's authenticity and humility are genuinely awe-inspiring not only as a coach for the Seattle Seahawks, but more importantly, as a friend of God ... His adoration for Lizzy inspires me daily."
Early on the couple's book paints a picture of the marriage that seems idyllic:
Canales had a promising NFL coaching career, beautiful children, and nine years of marriage to Lizzy, a crossfit teacher. It was outwardly perfect. Except it really wasn't.
The foundation of the marriage was actually cracking. Because the foundation was built on subterfuge. And infidelity. And addiction.
Dave Canales served as the Buccaneers offensive coordinator for one season. (Photo by Cliff Welch/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)
Book By Panthers New Coach Gets Attention
Canales writes about his binge drinking. He describes how he was playing the role of a Godly man but it was a facade. Canales would go to church on Sunday but live like hell the rest of the week. He would go out socially with friends and take off his wedding ring. His intentions around other women in those moments were obvious.
Canales said the long hours as an NFL assistant coach weren’t to blame for his issues, but gave him opportunities to make decisions that hurt Lizzy.
At one point, however, Canales comes clean. He confesses his indiscretions to Lizzy and seems to be moving foward with the expectation all is well. And, indeed, all seems fine from his perspective. But all was not fine because Lizzy wan't fine.
The book gives attention to how she addresses her lingering grief, anger and emotions through God.
Canales, 42, writes that turning to God and counseling and basing his union with Lizzy on a Christian-based marriage, has helped him defeat his earlier demons. He says he's stopped drinking completely. He says he no longer is overcome by the temptation of pornography.
Dave Canales talks with Baker Mayfield during a season the coach is credited with helping to revive the QB's career. (Photo by Julio Aguilar/Getty Images)
Panthers' Canales: Porn Addition 'Severed Intimacy'
"A huge part in the severed intimacy that I was experiencing with Lizzy was because I was addicted to pornography,” Canales writes. “It was like a gateway drug for me, creating pathways in my brain that allowed me to use sex coldly for my own benefit. It was a secret, silent struggle that I had years before I was married."
In sharing this fight, Dave and Lizzy Canales show themsleves to be like too many marriages in America: Facing internal problems that threaten the core of their union even as it all seems healthy on the outside.
But they recognize the problems and fight for the marriage. They make the statement that the marriage is worth saving.
“We wanted other people to feel safe starting this journey toward a vibrant marriage by helping them see they are not alone,” the couple writes in the book’s preface. ”Just as we have done with our friends around the kitchen table, we offer our heart and soul in our story to give you hope that you, too, can find a way forward to something better."