Woman Who Ran New York Marathon While Drunk Says She’d Do It Again

Running a marathon while stone-cold sober sounds like an absolute chore, so could getting a bit liquored up beforehand actually help? Well, one woman who ran the  New York City Marathon with more than half a dozen drinks in her says she'd do it again.

According to NPR — which I think only did this story as a palate cleanser after a Trump victory the other week — spoke to 26-year-old runner; no, hero Justine  Huang who said that she helped herself to some drinks along the way after running the Chicago Marathon just a few weeks earlier.

Since both are hard to get into, Huang didn't think she'd get the chance to run in both the Chicago and New York Marathons. So, she put all of her focus on Chicago and decided to have fun in New York.

"I wanted to go hard for Chicago because I had a time goal to beat," she said. "And so that was what I focused on."

So, in New York, she decided to enjoy herself and the people around her. This started by taking candy from spectators, but Huang said that the candy quickly morphed into booze when "The first guy handed me, I think, a shot of Hennessy," Huang said. "After that, it got really, really lit."

Runners cross over the Verrazzano-Narrows Bridge during the 2024 TCS New York City Marathon… at least one of them did so while crushing drinks. (Photo by Craig T Fruchtman/Getty Images)

She said that she had four or five shots and another four or five half cups of beer across the 26.2 miles.

"I met so many cool people on the run," Huang said. "I literally ran the whole thing with my best friend and it was her first marathon," she said. "Being with her and seeing our friends who spent the entire day running around the city finding spots to cheer us on, that just made me so happy. I have no regrets at all."

I'm sure there's no science to back this up, but what if marathon running is one of those sports where a bit of alcohol puts you in the sweet spot? Golf, bowling, darts, and billiards can be like that. So can axe throwing (by the way, my favorite thing about modern America is we made having people drink and throw axes at plywood a thing and it usually occurs in strip malls).

NPR had someone explaining why running while intoxicated is a bad idea, but I think a shot here and there might take your mind off of how much running sucks.

Congrats on the marathoning, Justine! Now, go drink some Pedialyte!