Who Would Win In A Fight Between The Pop-Tarts Mascot And The Cheez-It Mascot?

We now know that Washington and Michigan will play for a national championship, but the two biggest stars to emerge from Bowl Season didn't take a single snap. Nonetheless, they wowed the crowd with their spirit, their moves, and in one case, their deliciousness. I am of course talking about the Pop-Tarts Bowl mascot and the Cheez-It Bowl mascot.

Not since Philadelphia Flyers mascot Gritty hit the scene have costumed characters stolen the nation's collective heart. Both mascots made their debuts in the same stadium — Orlando's Camping World Stadium — to fanfare and rave reviews.

That means there's only one question remaining: if push came to shove, which one of these googly-eyed brand ambassadors would win in a fight?

The Pop-Tarts Mascot (AKA Strawberry): More Than Just Filling Below The Crust

Tale Of The Tape

Even though the Pop-Tarts mascot emerged from a giant toaster last weekend, I didn't realize until this moment that it had a name. Its name is Strawberry. That's lazy as hell, but that's because all of the other efforts went into making Strawberry one of the biggest innovations in mascot-ing since the T-shirt cannon.

The Pop-Tarts mascot was the world's first edible mascot, and that could be an Achilles heel if it wound up throwing hands.

Yet, I can't help but feel like there's something aside from a delicious strawberry jelly filling just below the crust with the Pop-Tarts mascot. There's some craziness in there. The kind that tells you on a subliminal level not to mess with someone.

Plus, the Pop-Tart mascot has nothing to lose. Its greatest dream is to toast itself in front of a stadium full of people.

If that's what it's striving for, I don't think it would hesitate to take chances and fight aggressively.

The Cheez-It Mascot (AKA Ched-Z): Did Someone Order A Serving Of Edge?!

Tale Of The Tape

A couple of days after the Pop-Tart Mascot took over social media and made most of America say, "Damn, I could kind of go for a Pop-Tart right now," another mascot made its debut.

The Cheez-It Citrus Bowl unveiled Ched-Z. While the Pop-Tarts mascot looks cute and cuddly (although, as we discussed, there's some nastiness beneath the surface) Ched-Z is edgy.

Just look at him. The mohawk and shutter shades combo? He looks like he plays bass for some horrible band Orange Bowl half-time show-ruiners Walk The Moon.

It's one thing to look the part, it's another to answer the call when it's time to throw down against a human-sized breakfast pastry.

The Winner?

I think if we announced a fight between Strawberry and Ched-Z we'd need to hold it in the same place they both debuted: Camping World Stadium. Both have proven to be so popular it would sell out immediately. The parking situation at that stadium is a nightmare, but believe you me, it would be worth it to see two of America's preeminent snack-themed bowl game mascots throw down.

Both mascots have similar reaches and neither one is shaped in a way that would make them light on their feet. I'm not saying it would be pretty — it wouldn't there'd be crumbs and strawberry filling all over the ring — it'd still be a show.

I think I have to give the edge to the Pop-Tarts mascot. I don't think Strawberry has the punching power for a knockout, but it can no doubt take a punch. Plus, if it gave itself a light toasting before the match, its molten innards would burn Ched-Z's hands as soon as the match started.

Plus, Ched-Z seems like he's overcompensating. Do you know who doesn't have to dress up like a badass? An actual badass.

He looks tough, but I think he'd get his ass kicked by a pastry named Strawberry.

But that's just my opinion. Let me know who you'd take by shooting a message to mattreigleoutkick@gmail.com.

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