Virginia Pitcher Stuns The Internet With Disgusting Dugout Banana Video

Look, it's a slow news day outside of Valhalla. That's generally what happens on May 18. People think the Dog Days of Summer start in July, but that ain't true. They start right around now. 

Thankfully, though, we have one psycho on the University of Virginia baseball team to fill the void. Now, did he fire a no-no? No. Get in a fight? Nope. Say something stupid? Not that I know of. 

What he did, though, tops all of those things. It has my brain in an absolute pretzel this afternoon. I've never seen anything quite like it, and I'm not sure if this kid's an idiot … or possibly a genius. 

Luckily, it was all caught on camera – so we'll let you, the fine folks of Outkick, decide:

Virginia player flips the banana game on its head

It's just stunning, right? I've never, in my life, seen someone attack a banana like that. It's like the Matrix, or Inception. I know what I'm watching, but my mind can't really comprehend it. 

Do people eat bananas this way? I mean, you're essentially eating it like corn on the cob, right? That's the idea. Going the horizontal route with a banana instead of the mainstream vertical way is such a diabolical move, I don't know whether he's brilliant or should be immediately kicked off the team. 

Speaking of him …. my context clues and Big J digging tell me this lunatic is probably pitcher Jack O'Connor. He commented on the above video, via Instagram, "Banana on the cob." That tells me pretty much all I need to know. 

Anyway, remember this moment from The Office? This is how I feel after watching Jack here maul that banana. 

Yeah, I just don't get it. This kid from Virginia has me all over the place today. My toddler eats like six bananas a day. Do I get her started young and make the switch now, or will she just be mocked for the rest of her life if I do that? 

Now, I will say – most of America seems to be disgusted with this. This video has gone viral this afternoon, and 99% of the comments think he's a lunatic. 

But then again, Twitter is normally not real life. Whenever I see something popping off on Twitter, I go the opposite direction, because 99 times out of 100, that's the right answer. 

Anyway, I may dabble with this move at some point today and get back to y'all. Stay tuned.