An Unwoke Miss America Revs Engines In Daytona

The 2025 motorsports season is already infinitely better than anything we've seen the past four years, thanks to Miss America! 

That's right. We finally have a based, non-woke, normal, Miss America. And guess what? She's a real girl. 

What a way to wave the green on the season!

For those who don't follow endurance racing – and that's none of you, of course! – the Rolex 24 went green Saturday at Daytona, officially kicking off the 2025 motorsports calendar. Up next? The Daytona 500. After that, it's all systems GO. 

Anyway, back to Miss America. Former Auburn cheerleader Abbie Stockard led the field to green (sort of), which is noteworthy because A) she's Miss America, B) she's hot, and C) she's incredibly based. 

And by that, I mean she spent Monday night celebrating Donald Trump at the inaugural ball – wearing a MAHA dress. 

What a time to be alive. Take that, wokes!

Abbie Stockard is the way!

YES! This is how we Make Motorsports Great Again, boys and girls. Let Auburn Abbie lead the way. She loves RFK – which, presumably, means she voted for Donald J. Trump. And that means we're in for a big year in motorsports. 

How? I have no idea. BUT, I like the vibe-shift I feel right now. Remember years ago when it was almost a sin to wear anything even remotely associated with Donald Trump? You had to hide it. God help you if the Libs found out. 

Not anymore, though. Miss America is ready to get this fat country back on track and whip us all back into shape. And after that, she's gonna lead the Rolex 24 field to green for the first of 24 straight hours of racing. 

Love this chick. Love the direction we're headed right now. And, of course, hate a seed oil! Yuck! We only do Beef Tallow 'round here. Vroom vroom!

Let's go have a big motorsports season. Rolex today and tomorrow. Busch Clash next week. Daytona 500 next month. 

Welcome back, fellas. And welcome back, Abbie!