Touch 'Em All: The White Sox Are Still Garbage, Shohei Ohtani's Dog Is Adorable & This A's Fan Is Super Lucky

The White Sox Might Be The Worst Team In MLB History…No Joke

By now, I think I've exhausted all of the negative adjectives in the English language to describe the Chicago White Sox's season so far.

If you followed this MLB season even loosely, you'll know that Chicago is in the midst of a historic season - but for all the wrong reasons. They are the second fastest team ever to record 100 losses in a season, and they might even be on pace to set the record for most losses in a year in the modern era - with 125. Oh, and somehow, even after playing 162 games, there's a chance that they could win less games than at least half a dozen teams in the 60-game COVID season of 2020.

Yeesh. No wonder why the stands look like this most games.

But on Wednesday, Chicago had a chance to experience the most electric play in the sport: a walk-off home run.

In the bottom of the ninth inning against the Texas Rangers on Wednesday, first baseman Andrew Vaughn stepped up to the plate with one out, two men on base, and the Rangers winning 4-3.  On a 1-2-count, he hammered a ball to left field that for certain looked like it was going to end the game.

Could this be it? Was this the serotonin boost that every Chicago White Sox player, coach, and fan desperately needed?  Would this finally be the hour that this  miserable team experience joy in an otherwise thoroughly depressing season?

Nope.

Just before the ball crashed into the bullpen, Texas outfielder Travis Jankowski scaled the outfield wall and committed the most heinous act of robbery thus far this season.

On the one hand, mad props to Jankowski for making that catch. He should be in jail for crimes against offense after that play.

But on the other hand, can it literally get any worse for Chicago?

The White Sox are already mathematically eliminated from the postseason. There is absolutely no purpose for the remaining games that the White Sox have to play. The least that could happen is for the White Sox to have one good memory, like a walk-off dinger to put a bright spot (albeit a faint one) on an extremely dark season.

But even that's apparently too much to ask -  and it's kind of comical how success continues to evade Chicago.

I honestly wouldn't blame the South Side Squad for just voluntarily forfeiting the rest of the games. If something like this can't even go right for them in the last 30 or so games, nothing will.

An Oakland A's Fan Caught 3 Foul Balls IN THE FIRST INNING

While we're on the topic of catching baseballs, we need to go back and see what this Oakland A's fan did last Friday. In some ways, it's more impressive than Jankowski's web gem.

This random dude was sitting in the nosebleed section behind the home plate, minding his own business, enjoying the evening, and ready to have a good time. In the first inning, he snagged a foul ball during the first at bat of the game.

Baseball: Aerial view of Oakland Athletics Jed Lowrie (8) during at bat vs Seattle Mariners at Oakland Alameda Coliseum. Oakland, CA 8/15/2018 CREDIT: Jordan Murph (Photo by Jordan Murph /Sports Illustrated via Getty Images) (Set Number: X162072 TK1 )

What more could you ask for as a fan? In the span of  maybe 47 seconds, this guy not only gets seated to watch a ball game on a beautiful Friday evening, he catches a foul ball, which is the pipe dream of literally every MLB fan in existence. That's a solid night by all accounts!

But boy oh boy, this guy's Friday night was about to get a lot crazier!

After the Brewers batters came and went, the age came up for their turn at the plate in the bottom half of the inning. Brent Rooker fouled a ball towards the  nose bleeds behind home plate, and wouldn't you know it, it went right to this lucky son of a gun.

OK, let's just  stop and talk about how cool of a moment this is. Most fans will wait their entire life to catch one foul ball. And this guy caught not one, but two in the span of about seven batters. That’s pretty sweet!

But you know what's even sweeter than two foul balls in an inning? TRY THREE

When Miguel Andujar stepped up to the plate,  he found a ball back to - you guessed it, the same guy that had caught two foul balls already that inning.

I mean come on, that's got to be some kind of record. And the odds of that happening are probably less than the White Sox winning 40 games this season.

Too soon, Chicago?

The Shohei Ohtani-Decoy Bobblehead Night Was A Huge Success 

What's the one thing that  MLB fans love more than Shohei Ohtani? The answer is nothing.

This guy is doing things that most people wouldn't think possible.

It's no wonder why he's the biggest entertainment attraction in Los Angeles.

But you know what will get even more fans to show up for a chance to see Shohei Ohtani play? Offering the fans a chance to get a bobblehead with him and his dog Decoy.

On Wednesday, the Dodgers announced that they would be doing an Ohtani/Decoy bobblehead giveaway for all the fans that attended the game. At 11:00 that morning, fans were already lining up to have a chance to be one of the people to get a free piece of memorabilia.

I mean, this is just insane. This is a Wednesday morning - when most people are working - in August. The Dodgers have basically clinched a spot in the playoffs,  so there's not a lot of incentive to show up 8 hours early for a regular season game in the middle of the week.

That is, unless you find a bobblehead of a player with his dog to be incredibly valuable. Apparently, lots of people in the City of Angels did.

And of course, what would a doggo/superstar bobblehead night be without Decoy throwing out the first pitch?

Well, "throwing" is a generous term. It was more of a fetch and retrieval, but it was still great content nonetheless. 

Who doesn’t love a doggo at a ballpark? The answer is no one, unless you’re a heartless human being.

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That's it for this week! If you have any ideas you want to see me write about, email me at john.simmons@outkick.com. Have a fantastic weekend!