Touch 'Em All: Patriotism Abounds In Baseball, Brian Snitker Is An Alpha Male And A We Have A Bunt HR!

We've Got To Open Touch ‘Em All With Some Patriotism - It’s The Rules

For far too long, pro sports have been used as a platform for woke lowlifes to amplify progressive values. If you know anything about the woke worldview, one of its defining characteristics is that they are always looking for something wrong with America, and by proxy can’t stand to be a part of this great nation.

What did you do for the 4th of July? Let me know: john.simmons@outkick.com.

Unfortunately, baseball bought into that notion for a while as well, especially during the COVID pandemic. But thankfully, the Major and Minor Leagues both unleashed a hefty dose of patriotism on America’s birthday.

Jul 4, 2024; Washington, District of Columbia, USA; Washington Nationals left fielder Jesse Winker (6) walks back to the dugout while wearing a patriotic themed top hat after the game against the New York Mets at Nationals Park. Mandatory Credit: Rafael Suanes-USA TODAY Sports

The New York Yankees (yuck) and the Cincinnati Reds (much better) played at Yankee Stadium on Thursday. As usual, players stood at attention for the National Anthem before the game.

But then a few guys from each team stood at attention for a really, really long time afterward.

Okay, maybe it wasn’t that long of a time. After all, in a society that hardly ever has to wait for anything, the couple of minutes that New York’s Ian Hamilton and Cody Poteet, and Cincinnati’s pitcher Graham Ashcraft seemed like quite a while. But it was long enough for the home plate umpire to take a bathroom break!

Frankly, I support it. Forget starting the game on time, let the guys compete and be patriotic. We could use a lot more of that these days.

Eventually, Yankees manager Aaron Boone called off his pitchers, and the Reds won (which makes me happy. Anytime the Yankees lose, I win). Cincinnati’s dugout roared in approval as their hero made his way back to the dugout.

The Minor Leagues Were Also Quite Patriotic

Not to be outdone, minor league teams got their ‘Merica on Thursday night. The Hartford Yard Dogs died their hot dog onions blue. 

If you’ve read any of my work in the past (for which I thank you), you’ll probably have noticed that I’ve spent a borderline unhealthy amount of time analyzing City Connect uniforms. I love jerseys, in large part because when I played sports, I would get the same feeling that Roberto Clemente felt when he donned a Pittsburgh Pirates uniform.

So imagine my delight when I saw that tons of minor league teams played in American flag-themed uniforms last night. I was like a kid in a candy store looking at all the different designs.

What better way to say you’re proud to be an American than by turning your gameday garb into a billboard for patriotism?

Oh, and there were tons of incredible scenes in many ballparks that honored our country. We even had some new American citizens get honored!

Patriotism is still alive and well in America’s pastime, and it’s fantastic to see.

Brian Snitker Is A Man Of Steel

There was one time when I was in seventh grade where my baseball coach told me to play catcher. I was excited to try it out, but quickly realized I hated it for three reasons.

First, there was the part about it being excruciatingly painful to hunch down on my knees for two innings. That alone is a big reason I said catcher is the hardest position to play in American pro sports.

Second, there was the imminent threat of foul balls. Having a fastball get foul tipped right into my face mask or kneecap on any given pitch? Yeah, no thanks.

Brian Snitker proved he's one tough dude on Wednesday. Mandatory Credit: Brett Davis-USA TODAY Sports

But the third, and most glaring reason for me, was wearing a cup.

I get it, it’s a necessary evil. You want your most valuable body parts protected at all costs, and there’s a myriad of ways a baseball could hit you in the batteries. But still, it’s wildly uncomfortable, and if you’ve ever played catcher, you know what I mean.

Even so, I think I’m going to start a petition to have managers be required to wear cups at all times, given what happened to Atlanta Braves manager Brian Snitker.

On Wednesday night, Ozzie Albies hooked a foul ball right into Snitker’s…well, you can probably guess where. And yet somehow, the guy barely even moved.

I know for a fact I would have needed to be rushed to the hospital ASAP if I took that liner to the crotch. I’d probably still be writhing on the ground in pain to this day. Like seriously, how did this guy not even grimace? Even the commentators winced in pain as they recounted the incident.

Some guys are just built different, and it looks like Snitker is one of those dudes.

But seriously, managers should now have to wear cups at all times in the dugout, especially if they’re going to stand at the top of the dugout steps. And of course, we already know what we can name it.

A Bunt Home Run?!

What's the most electric play in baseball? 

I'll tell you, it's the bunt home run.

In the KBO (Korea's pro baseball league), one batter laid down a picture-perfect bunt that the pitcher had to field. Mind you, this is a pro league, but everything that happened after that resembled a little-league game.

The fielders accounted for two wild errors that allowed the bunter to fly around the bases for a standup bunt home run. To make things even better, the energy that the Korean broadcasting team brought to the fold was electric. These guys could probably deliver an exciting call of someone brushing their teeth.

Okay, so it wasn't really a super legitimate bunt homerun, there were some errors involved. But still, how sick is it that he was able to record a dinger off a ball that traveled maybe 10 feet from home plate? I bet you haven't done that before. I know I haven't.

Gosh, I Want Chris Sale Back On The Red Sox

Over the past few years, the Red Sox have had a nasty habit of trading away their best players, only to see them perform well with other teams: Mookie Betts, Kyle Schwarber, Nate Eovaldi, and countless others. I’ve watched in agony as the pathetic ownership group refuses to invest in top-tier talent and let them walk for almost nothing in return.

But now, I’ve had to watch perhaps my favorite pitcher ever - Chris Sale - live his best life as a member of the Atlanta Braves.

Chris Sale (center) is back to his dominant pitching form with the Braves. Mandatory Credit: Matt Marton-USA TODAY Sports

To be fair to Sox ownership, this one move made sense. Sale spent so much of his tenure with Boston ravaged by injuries, and only had two solid years in a Red Sox uniform (2017 and 2018, when he was borderline untouchable). It was a low-risk parting of the ways: it opened up a lot of cap space and they (rightfully) didn’t think Sale could return to peak form.

But by golly, he has.

Sale leads not just the National League, but the entire majors in wins with 11. He’s back to fooling hitters with a devastating slider, fastball, and changeup combo that has him as a forerunner for winning the NL Cy Young.

This one, ladies and gents, hurts me on every level.

I miss Sale’s alpha male energy, his competitive fire, and his finesse on the mound. His strikeout of Kyle Tucker in the 2021 ALCS remains my favorite play that didn’t decide the outcome of a game in Boston sports history.

And now I have to watch him return to pre-injury form with another team? I know it’s only the afternoon, but I’m going to go cry myself to sleep now. Why, of why, can the Red Sox not retain talented players?

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That's it for this week! If you have any ideas you want to see me write about, email me at john.simmons@outkick.com. Have a fantastic weekend!