Touch 'Em All: Meet The 'Siberian Sultan Of Swat,' Winners Of The All-Star Break & A Challenge To Readers
What an All-Star Week the MLB had, amirite my Touch 'Em All faithful?
Regular season baseball returns tonight (FINALLY). But man, did we have a solid All-Star Week to keep us occupied in the meantime.
Sometimes, the early July festivities don’t always deliver, and there have been some absolute duds in the past. Thankfully, 2024 was not one of those years.
Who were the biggest winners of the All-Star festivities? Which spectacles, teams, and players had a Midsummer Classic to remember?
Let’s dive in. (Don’t like my list? Let’s talk: john.simmons@outkick.com).
The Home Run Derby
Earlier this month, I wrote about how the MLB changed its format for the competition, and I also hinted at how I said it should make it more entertaining. Boy, was I right.
Nonetheless, there was a justified lack of excitement heading into the long-ball competition, the biggest of which was the lack of top-tier stars participating (except for maybe Pete Alonso).
I mean, who would tune in at 8 p.m. on a Monday night to watch a contest between Alec Bohm, Teoscar Hernandez, and José Ramírez as the headliners? That lineup doesn’t have nearly as much advertising juice as the bout between Sammy Sosa and Ken Griffey Jr. in 2000. Who’d want to throw off their sleep schedule after starting the work week for that?
But, my, oh my, what it might have lacked in marketing potential, it more than made up for in entertainment value.
The new format allowed hitters to maximize their swings and prevent them from getting burnt out easier. And after we reached the last four batters of the event, things got crazy.
Kansas City’s Bobby Witt Jr. outlasted Cleveland’s Jose Ramirez in the semifinals, and Teoscar Hernandez eliminated Philadelphia’s Alec Bohm in an epic swing-off (most HRs after three swings advances). Bohm was oh-so close to advancing with his last swing of regulation, but he hooked it just foul.
Then, in the finals, Hernandez and Witt Jr. upped the drama. Hernandez racked up 14 dingers between regulation and bonus time, and Witt was literally a few feet away from matching that.
After getting 13 home runs, Witt Jr. had one last swing in bonus time. If he homered, they’d go to a swing-off. If not, Hernandez would win.
This is how his final swing went.
Can you imagine losing in this fashion? That ball went 406 feet into one of the deepest parts of the ballpark - and it still just wasn’t quite enough.
Heartbreaking for Witt Jr., to say the least. But for Hernandez and the Home Run Derby in general, it was a night to remember.
Also, Bohm apparently didn't take the loss too hard. After the All-Star festivities were over, he immediately went to Jersey Shore to have some fun.
What a legend.
Boston Red Sox
Okay, this one might make you scratch your head a little bit, but allow me to explain.
Pitcher Tanner Houck and center fielder Jaren Duran were the only guys to represent the Sox at Globe Life Field. Houck’s night wasn’t the best, as he surrendered all three of the runs the National League scored in just one inning of work.
However, he did so by letting Los Angeles Dodgers star Shohei Ohtani hit a missile into the right-field bleachers. Naturally, everyone watching the game wanted to see the Japanese superstar do something cool, so Houck took one for the team and made sure Ohtani got his moment to shine (as if he needed another one). This was a chess-not-checkers move by Houck.
Then there’s the more obvious one: Duran won the game’s MVP award.
In the fifth inning, the score was 3-3. At this point, Duran was probably looking for a way to make sure Houck’s inning wasn’t the defining moment of the evening for the Red Sox reps, or the American League.
So when he trotted to the plate in the fifth, he was like "So, Shohei can hit dingers? I can too!" (I have no way to confirm if all of this is true, but indulge me if you will). He proceeded to hit an absolute moonshot off Cincinnati’s Hunter Greene that would give the American League a lead it wouldn’t surrender again.
Think about how cool this is for a second. This guy was just a reserve, and would have been a starter had the AL outfield not been stacked this year. But nonetheless, he made the most of his moment and became just the fifth Red Sox player in history to get the award.
Jarren Duran of the Boston Red Sox poses with the Ted Williams All-Star MVP Award after the American League defeated the National League Tuesday night. (Photo by Daniel Shirey/MLB Photos via Getty Images)
Well done, Houck and Duran. You made Red Sox nation proud (mostly you, Duran).
Elly De La Cruz
The Reds’ wunderkid shortstop had an okay performance, registering a single in two at-bats. But his biggest highlight of the night was getting to talk to Ohtani in the dugout.
This might not seem super consequential. But earlier this month, he revealed that he was trying to learn Japanese in order to speak with Ohtani.
Apparently, he only learned "Arigato" ("thank you") and Konnichiwa ("hello"). But he still got to interact with his favorite peer and make the most of it.
Playing in the All-Star Game? Check. Getting a chance to talk with one of your role models while doing so? Check.
I’d say that was a successful trip for De La Cruz.
Let’s Go "Down On The Farm" For One Of The Coolest Draft Stories You’ll Ever Hear
The chances of Lyle Miller-Green making it to the MLB were already slim. Heck, only 20,691 men have ever made it to the big leagues, which is less than half of the seating capacity for Wrigley Field. Seriously, that’s a tiny fraction of all the men who have ever played the game at some level.
But if you’re an orphan in an adoption center in Tomsk, Russia - which is in Siberia, 5,071 miles from the nearest MLB ballpark (Seattle) - your chances are basically zero.
That is, unless you’re Miller-Green.
In 2001, Stephanie and Richard Green adopted Miller-Green (born Oleg Sergevich Kornev) from the bitterly cold wasteland of Siberia.
"He looked precious," Stephanie says after seeing a VHS tape of him provided by the adoption agency. "I instantly fell in love."
After finding a love for baseball, Miller-Green made it to the collegiate level, playing for the Austin Peay Governors. This guy can hit nukes with such consistency that he’s already got a super dope nickname - "The Siberian Sultan of Swat" (you can read his full adoption story and rise to the draft here, it’s absolutely incredible).
Now, if you think it’s a bit premature to give him a nickname striking close to Babe Ruth’s, allow these videos to ease your doubts.
Yeah, this guy can crush baseballs. During his senior season, he set the Atlantic Sun Conference single-season records for home runs (30 - sheesh) and runs scored (94) while batting .393 with a .900 slugging percentage and .533 on-base percentage. Looks like the Chicago White Sox got great value with the 499th pick in the 17th round (he’s now just the second Russian-born player to get drafted in the MLB).
Through it all, Miller-Green has been humble and thankful for the chance he got to start a life in the United States that has allowed him to live out his dream of being a pro baseball player.
"I feel like I hit the lottery," Miller-Green said. "I was brought here to the States and welcomed into a great family with great parents. I try not to take a day for granted, because what if I had stayed in Russia? I definitely wouldn’t be playing baseball, right?"
What a remarkable story. Best of luck to Miller-Green!
(As an aside, If he gets all the way to the MLB, Paul Skenes is going to have a really hard time holding onto his title for best mustache in the league).
Have You Ever Run Into An MLB Player At Home Depot?
Personally, whenever I feel like supporting the Chinese economy on my own home soil, the most famous person I expect to see are my neighbors. But apparently, this one guy had a brother who ran into San Diego Padres pitcher Yu Darvish.
May 29, 2024; San Diego, California, USA; San Diego Padres pitcher Yu Darvish (11) pitches during the first inning against the Miami Marlins at Petco Park. Mandatory Credit: Denis Poroy-USA TODAY Sports
I have absolutely no idea why an MLB pitcher would need to go to Home Depot (maybe Darvish was feeling like a doer who wanted to get more done that day?). But still, this fan must have had the most thrilling errand of his life.
When something like that happens, you have to find a way to get his autograph. I mean, when's the next time you'll ever see Yu Darvish, much less at a Home Depot. This was a seminal moment in his life!
He didn't have a card for him to sign, because most normal people don't carry trading cards in their pockets. So he improvised, asking Darvish to sign a paint stirrer instead.
Frankly, I think this is so cool. That perfectly encapsulates the spontaneity of the moment and gives this guy a great decorative piece for his fireplace.
What an awesome moment.
Here's Your Chance To Be A Part Of The Most Fun Baseball Column On This Website
Earlier this week, OutKick’s uber-talented and ever hilarious writer Matt Reigle wrote about some of the most outrageous ballpark snacks to appear in stadiums this season (side note: go check out some of his stuff. I promise you’ll leave laughing, and if you don't, well, I can’t help you).
Here are some of the wildest culinary concoctions the MLB concessions wizards have created.
I can’t even imagine what would happen if my digestive system had to process half of one of those things. In all likelihood, I’d probably single-handedly channel my inner Cousin Eddie from "National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation."
But that got me thinking about the other potentially wild concession stand creations out there. In fact, maybe you’ve got one of your own.
Perhaps you walked up to get some in-game victuals and saw something you couldn’t believe was actually being sold. Maybe you opened a box of pizza only to find something chemically hazardous inside. Or you might have had something that made you have your own Cousin Eddie moment.
Whatever the case may be, I want to hear about it. Depending on how eager you guys are to share your stories and how many entries I get, two of you will get the life-changing honor of having your stories be a part of a future colum. Feel free to email me at john.simmons@outkick.com, or reach out via X.
Until then, have a fantastic weekend!