SEC Media Days Did Dallas, But It Was Largely A Dud - 5 Ways To Improve The Dog Days

First, God made the Dog Days of Summer - that period from early July through early August when temperatures are the hottest, the thrill of summer vacation has worn off a tad because it's so freakin' hot, and there's just not a lot of sports to swim in as the weeks without real football pile up.

Then the college football gods made the Media Days of Summer, which are truly Dog Days themselves, even with air conditioning. The Southeastern Conference held 16 coaches and players press conferences over four days last week in Dallas. The Big Ten will hold 18 more such press conferences from Tuesday through Thursday relentlessly with six a day in Indianapolis, and the Atlantic Coast Conference will throw another 17 pressers out there from Monday through Thursday in Charlotte, North Carolina.

Endless Summer Of Press Conferences

And most of the press conferences are exactly the same - a lot of talk about what may happen. This is not what the Beach Boys meant with their classic "Endless Summer" album.

"We in here talking about press conferences," as Allen Iverson might say. 

"Not a game, not a game, we talkin' about practice," Iverson said in 2002 as a Philadelphia 76er after his coach, Larry Brown, questioned his work ethic. It was one of the greatest rants in sports history.

"Not the game. We talkin' about practice," he said. "I mean, how silly is that?"

And we're not even at practice yet in the college football season. We're talkin' about press conferences in July - several weeks before practice even starts. How silly is that? Not a game, not even a practice, a press conference.

When Media Days started in the SEC in the 1980s and through the next 20 years or so, they ended just a few days before practice started. So it made more timely sense. They were also smaller and more intimate. So, coaches talked football like it was football.

LSU coach Brian Kelly says hello to Vanderbilt coach Clark Lea at SEC Media Days last Monday in Dallas. Lea coached under Kelly at Notre Dame (Getty Images).

In Dallas last week, the convention room at the Omni hotel looked as large as the Gilley's monster bar in Pasadena, Texas, where they filmed "Urban Cowboy." Only, nobody was having any fun. And there were definitely no fights. This was way too corporate for a lot of cowboy hats.

I felt like I was at a national insurance salesman convention. Or maybe the "ClosetCon" episode of the iconic Modern Family TV show. It just didn't feel at all like football, as in games in the fall.

On the speaking agenda other than the 16 SEC football coaches in Dallas were such thrilling items as:

-John McDaid, SEC Coordinator of Officials

-Dr. Katie O'Neal, SEC Chief Medical Advisor

-AI (Artificial Intelligence) Panel, which led to this question by one intrepid reporter: "Can I artificially attend that one?"

SEC Media Days Became A Modern Family Episode

This reeked of Claire Dunphy in that Modern Family episode panting about the ClosetCon agenda to her father, Jay Pritchett:

"Dad, this schedule is incredible," she announced with glee. "A 10:45 a.m. session on sustainable materials, 11 a.m. panel on paneling and a breakout session on shoe storage."

Jay rolled his eyes. "A little advice," he said. "The convention floor is for suckers. All work is done at the bar. You do what you want. I'm getting a scotch."

Funny, last Sunday night before the SEC Media Days kicked off, LSU coach Brian Kelly was spotted at a restaurant bar next to the Omni by a few media members who cover LSU. He invited them over and later bought all of them dinner. Kelly shared some off the record information about his team and staff that may prove to be more valuable than anything he said the next morning during the official press conference. That's what Media Days should be - Media Nights.

Vanderbilt coach Clark Lea should've spoken with his beat reporters at a restaurant bar, too, because here is an excerpt from his turn at the microphone Monday, which sounded more like that "session on sustainable materials" Claire couldn't wait to see.

At times last week, the SEC Media Days in Dallas sounded more like a closet convention than a football kickoff. (Photo By OutKick's Trey Wallace)

Lea said when he took the Vanderbilt job he saw himself as "the steward of holistic development and healthy experience."

Uh, Clark, you're a football coach. You're not a retreat counselor.

He mentioned a change in "tactical systems." … What he meant was he hired a new offensive coordinator and appointed himself defensive coordinator. Now, hire a translator.

He also said that he and his staff "expedited the transformation of our roster." … In other words, he finally found a few players in the portal to help him try to improve on the "tactical systems" gone awry last season that led to a 2-10 season.

When people are talking football in small groups - at a bar, or in a coffee shop, or in a smaller Media Days - they just don't talk like that.

Jay Pritchett was right. The main press conference floor is for suckers. Not all work is done at the bar, but some is, and a lot of it is done in the hallways between the press conference barn, on the escalators, and in the lobby.

OPINION: Kirby Smart Cowardly Delegates Reckless Driving Discipline

Georgia coach Kirby Smart didn't get into his program's lengthy list of reckless drivers in the main press conference room. He did with his beat reporters and a few others in a separate room before the main press conference.

Former Alabama coach Nick Saban, now working for ESPN, greets LSU coach Brian Kelly at SEC Media Days July 15 at the Omni hotel in Dallas. (Getty Images)

Former Alabama coach Nick Saban did not speak in the main press conference room, and he doesn't go to bars, but he was quoted as much as any coach who did because he was all over the hallways for three days mixing with reporters. He's one of us now. Next thing you know, he'll be bitching about limited access to coaches and telling expense account stories.

The SEC Media Days in Big D, for the most part, was too big and a big dud. Basically, it was a sportswriters convention with coaches and players popping in and out. That's how the Big Ten and ACC Media Days this week will likely be as well. Not a lot of news, by the way. There was a lot more of that in Dallas outside these halls - Paul Skenes pitching at the Major League Baseball All-Star game on Tuesday and Caitlin Clark setting the WNBA assist record with 19 on Wednesday against the Dallas Wings. 

5 Ways To Detonate The Dog Days Of Media Days

Here are five ways to detonate these Dog Days of Media Days everywhere:

1. LIMIT PODIUM TIME: Get the coaches off of those altars, so they don't feel inclined to speak like they're listing the Ten Commandments, as Lea was. Have each coach give only a brief opening statement for just two minutes and get right to a few questions, then get off the podium for a few more questions in breakout sessions with smaller groups of reporters while the players are being interviewed. Too many coaches choose to filibuster while on the podium. Smart discussed what his family has been doing over the summer - an old trick former LSU coach Les Miles used ad nauseam.

2. BRING THE COORDINATORS: To limit large crowds gathering around the head coach after his time at the podium and to mix things up, have the offensive and defensive coordinators from each school share the media opportunity with the head coach and the players. Coordinators are usually great interviews, and at most programs, we rarely hear from them. They want a head coaching job and aren't under as much pressure as the head coach, so they tend to be more talkative to reporters. And this can take the pressure off the head coach and the number of questions he gets. 

3. MAKE IT MEDIA NIGHTS: The SEC did something new and improved in Dallas. There were post-press conference cocktail parties Monday through Wednesday throughout the area. On Monday, media members enjoyed free drinks at the historic Texas Theatre downtown before watching the SEC Storied documentary "Saturday Night Lights," a history of SEC night football. There were food trucks outside. Theatre employees showed reporters the exact seat that police located Lee Harvey Oswald after he assassinated President John F. Kennedy and murdered Dallas police officer J.D. Tippit on Nov. 22, 1963.

But no coaches were there. In fact, SEC commissioner Greg Sankey was also not there. Or, if he was, I didn't see him. And I saw just about everyone there. On Wednesday night, media members dined at and toured Global Life Field, the home of the Texas Rangers and the Major League Baseball All-Star game the previous night in nearby Arlington. But again, no coaches and no Sankey. Coaches should be asked to attend these functions. There, they could speak casually to reporters over food and drink. Everyone would know such events would be off the record. With the SEC Media Days moving to bigger, tourism-friendly cities like Nashville last year, Dallas this year, Atlanta next year and perhaps Houston and New Orleans in the future, head coaches and the coordinators perhaps would like staying over the night before or night of in the media hotel with their wife and family and socializing. New Orleans could have an event at the World War II Museum. What coach would not want to visit that and learn about men who led their men into real battles?

4. DECREASE NUMBER OF MEDIA DAYS: The SEC Media Days in Dallas was too drawn out. It took four days with just four coaches a day. The Big Ten and ACC have the right idea with piling more in a day. The SEC should go to a 5-6-5 coaches rotation to get it done in three days. More coaches there at the same time would add a sense of urgency, and the coaches couldn't help but bump into one another. But the SEC has always had trouble with schedule rotations. There are 16 teams in the league now, and they're still playing an eight-game schedule? Be men, and play 10.

5. BRING BACK HOSPITALITY ROOMS: A dinosaur of media hotels before football games is the hospitality room. Athletic departments grew tired of paying for a bunch of media members to have free alcohol. Well, they were contributing to less traffic accidents because so many would never leave the hotel. And if head coaches and coordinators are staying over for a night in the same hotel, they could participate. They may not want to talk to a bunch of writers, but they could visit with the other coaches and coordinators. Hey, this could be a mini-job fair. Coaches are always about to replace someone or be replaced. These Media Days need to be more of a combination convention of sportswriters, conference officials and coaches. 

The more people who are around socializing, the more work may actually get done. Why do you think so many brilliant ideas first appeared on a cocktail napkin?

Sometimes, if you go too corporate, nothing gets done because it's too presentational.

For example, the first non-division SEC football season since 1991 is just over a month away, and the SEC office has not yet figured out a tiebreaker system to decide who will play in the conference championship game, if there are three or more teams tied for first. Of course, this is the same conference that actually forgot what its divisional tiebreaker was in 2016 when it struggled to reschedule a mistakenly storm-postponed game between contenders Florida and LSU . 

"We go back to our athletics directors at their next video conference that's about two weeks away," Sankey said when asked about the tiebreaker last Monday. "We can finalize that any time between now and the start of the season."

That should've been done already, Greg. And you've had years to do this and had all the coaches in Dallas and Nashville last year. Could've hashed it all out in the hospitality room. 

Next year, don't forget the cocktail napkins.