Riley Gaines' Controversial Prayer Has Libs Fuming, NASCAR Wife Works Out Her Butt & Driver Stretchered Off
Hey! Now that was a good little NASCAR race. Good, clean, fun – all the way up to the final 10 laps. Well, almost. Actually, ironically enough, the first lap ws the dirtiest lap of the day!
The leaders managed to race cleanly for 10 straight laps there at the end, while dummy Ross Chastain couldn't even get to Turn 1 without punting Chase Elliott into next week.
Good to see Ross the Boss up to his old tricks, though! What a pistol.
Between him wrecking Chase, Kyle Busch getting his heart ripped out, Brad Keselowski getting stretchered off the track after a near-stroke, and Riley Gaines triggering the Libs with the pre-race prayer, I'd say COTA delivered on all fronts.
This ain't exactly a December Pit-Stop, you know. Plenty of meat on the bone today. Let's trigger your liberal aunt and get TO IT. It's the first week of March – need to start strong and set the damn tone for the month.
And if y'all act right, we may even work in a butt workout with Sam Busch. We'll see.
Four tires, enough fuel to cancel out all the woke electric cars the Libs are driving today, and maybe some Secret Service protection for Ross the Boss … Monday Morning Pit-Stop – the ‘Prayers For Trump & Ross’s Dump' edition – is LIVE!
Riley started the race with a BANG
I had a feeling a few weeks back when I heard Riley was saying the prayer that we'd get some #content out of it, and boy, was I RIGHT.
The Libs are just fuming today. Foaming at the mouth like a bunch of rabid dogs. They're out for blood and calling for NASCAR to shut it DOWN.
Why? All because Riley prayed for Donald Trump – a moment the crowd cheered for, by the way. They're also mad that NASCAR invited her in the first place because they say she hates transgenders. Not true.
She hates biological men beating the piss out of women between the hashes. Big difference, but they hear what they want to hear. Oh well.
The party of love and inclusivity, you know!
Anyway, let's break it down:
Riley started it strong, and Ross the Boss kept the momentum going
I mean, just vile stuff. Good lord. It's amazing how wacko these people are, especially the first one.
"There's a sizable part of the fanbase that is not Republican."
I mean, that is just not true, first off. It's so not true that there's just no way that dummy even believes his own lie. Nobody has ever said that sentence. I didn't even think it was physically possible to say it.
Nutty Nick made it happen, though! Congrats. Impressive.
These people just don't see it. They don't see how dumb they sound. They don't realize that they're the minority now, not me, you, or Riley. Them.
They've lost. It was a long four years. They put up an unreal fight. But it's over. The craziness is over.
They also just flat out lie … like that one purple-haired Lib above who said she didn't mention the drivers competing. That's NOT TRUE! Listen to the tape, dummy! She literally says it right off the bat!
Look, could I have gone without the Make American Great Again stuff at the end? Yeah, I'll give you that one. Not sure we need that in a prayer.
But praying for a sitting president? I mean, she didn't exactly reinvent the wheel, folks. It's been done before – a billion times. It's OK to pray for a sitting president, you know. And had anyone prayed for Joe Biden over the past four years, I'd be good with, too.
I'd like all of our presidents to do well, you know. I really would. It's in my best interest that they do, so having the Big Man Upstairs looking down on them a little extra on a Sunday afternoon? Good with me.
What did you think? Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.
Whew. What a way to start a week!
Let's wind down with an unhinged Ross the Boss:
Fine, I'll say it – I wanted Kyle Busch to win
Look, it wasn't a great showing for Ross, but I don't think he sent it into Turn 1 looking to wreck the sport's most popular driver. I'd imagine it was an accident, and it's been a while since Ross had one like that, so I'm gonna give him a hall pass here.
That being said, I do think Chase had a car that could've won yesterday, and he was probably another 10-15 laps away from actually pulling it off. From third, to 40th, to fourth is quite a day. He's probably on the verge of winning here pretty soon. Don't say I didn't warn you!
You know who desperately needs one of them wins, too? Kyle Busch. How sad were you when it was clear late yesterday afternoon that he wasn't gonna be able to hold on? I could see it coming, and I was still sad when it happened.
God, we need a Rowdy win so badly. It's been nearly two years. Two years! Credit to Christopher Bell for not punting him. I didn't think he would, though, given their history. Smart business decision, frankly.
Honestly, it was a smart final 10 laps from all the players. Nobody sent anyone to the moon. Just good, clean, road-racing there at the end. Really solid final 20 minutes or so. Good stuff, fellas!
Can't imagine why Bell didn't race him too hard:
Hot Brad, hotter AJ & hottest Sam!
See? Good automobile race! And we even got a non-angry Rowdy breakdown at the end of it all. Maybe Riley's prayer worked after all!
OK, let's get to a couple quickies on the way to Phoenix. Anyone do a pulse check on Brad Keselowski today? I mean, what a DAY at the office:
"Appears Brad Keselowski needed medical attention post race." Gee, ya think? What gave it away?
Brad is all good, though. Little H20, couple gallons of fluid pumped into him and a Snickers bar, and he was right as rain last night.
And hey! He's still got the best damn commercials on the planet right now:
Amazing. God, I love a good NASCAR commercial about a cellular company nobody has heard of. The best.
Next? Let's check in with AJ Allmendinger on the way out!
Carson! Everyone in the garage hates poor Carson Hocevar after last week. Might mean that we have to start rooting for him around here. We zig, they zag. You know the drill.
OK, that's it for today. Good class. Good Monday. Good start to March. Let's keep this momentum rolling.
Take us to Phoenix, Sam!