Jimmy Carter's Chilling NASCAR Audio Unearthed, White Driver Called 'A Cracker' & Hooters Gianna Rides Cowgirl
Christmas is over, we're so close to January I can practically taste it, and the football season is nearing the finish line.
Y'all hear that? Sounds like a damn automobile purring like a cat, just up the road and 'round the corner!
That's right. The 2025 motorsports season – NASCAR, Daytona, the Rolex 24, IndyCar, basically everything minus woke F1 – is just about ready to go green. Just a few more filler weeks to kill time, and then BAM – let's go racing, boys!
But, we ain't there quite yet, DW. Close, but not yet. So, unlike the woke AP and lazy ESPN, we trudge forward and pump out ANOTHER offseason racin' column.
They're asleep at the wheel, fat and happy and enjoying the weird week between Christmas and NYE, while our asses are up and at 'em at 7 a.m. on a Monday GRINDING.
Let's grind.
I've got a spry-looking Jimmy Carter loving him some NASCAR on this final Monday of December. I've got the big-wigs over in the glass building across from Daytona looking into AI to help shape the sport, which will surely end well.
I've also got Mark Martin being a cracker (yep, it's exactly how it sounds), Hooters Gianna going cowgirl in Aspen and Mikey Waltrip makes a cameo to round out the day.
What a lineup for Dec. 30!
Four tires, a few splashes of Sunoco racing fuel, and a solid RIP for Jimbo Carter … Monday Morning Pit-Stop – the ‘My God How Am I Still Pumping Out A NASCAR Column On Dec. 30?’ edition – is LIVE!
Disagree with his politics, but at least Jimmy Carter loved NASCAR
Did not think I'd be diving into the Jimmy Carter-NASCAR relationship this morning, but that's what happens when A) a former president who'd been in hospice since the first Trump Administration (seriously) dies, and B) it's Dec. 30.
Sometimes, we get a NASCAR WAG getting half-naked on some Cabo beach, and that's the #content that gets us through the offseason. Other times, it's Jimmy Carter.
Different strokes for different folks, I reckon.
Anyway, the oldest living president died at 100 yesterday afternoon, and the tributes have been just pouring in left AND right, which is impressive given those sides loathe each other right now.
I didn't grow up in the Carter era, so I'm not gonna sit here and wax poetic one way or the other. From what I gather, he was a more coherent version of what I just lived through with the Biden Administration, so his tenure didn't sound like a ton of fun.
That being said, everyone seems to respect the man and the one thing I've heard from both sides is how much he loved this great, big, beautiful country. Love that. Need more of that in today's world, frankly.
He also loved NASCAR. If you're over 50, you probably know that. If you're like me, you did not. But, take my word for it, because he did!
Did you know he wanted to be the first president to bring NASCAR into the White House? True story. Technically, he did, back in 1978.
Unfortunately, because he was brokering a peace deal with Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin and Egyptian President Anwar Sadat at the time, Jimmy wasn't able to attend.
Instead, First Lady Rosalynn Carter hosted several NASCAR drivers, including Cale Yarborough, David Pearson and Benny Parsons. Ever heard of them?
Anyway, here's some unearthed audio of Jimmy from a 1976 Cup race at Atlanta that I stumbled upon this morning.
What an accent:
NASCAR and AI? What could go wrong?
Incredible. First off, does that Atlanta race sound better than anything we've seen/listened to in the past decade, or WHAT?
God. Bring that racin' back, please. All we have now is the woke Next Gen car. Sad.
Again, no idea what it was like to live in the Jimmy Carter era. Again, I haven't heard great things – and it sounds like he should be thanking Joe Biden for unseating him as the worst president ever – but I don't much care about any of that right now.
I'm just here for the NASCAR connection, and he seemed to genuinely love the sport.
Thoughts on Jimmy and NASCAR? Or … anything else? Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.
And hey! He had Richard Childress on his side back in 1980! Frankly, it shows you just how bad the Dems have fallen, seeing as Richard now routinely hosts Donald J. Trump at races every year.
PS: Sorry, Jimmy, but the Reagan contingent looked like an absolute FORCE back in 1980. Dale Earnhardt, Bill Elliott, Terry Labonte, DW and Benny Parsons, even after Jimmy invited Benny to the White House? Tough look.
OK, let's fast-forward back to modern times and check in on NASCAR in 2024:
Mikey, Gianna & Mark!
Well … I guess it's worth a shot? I don't know. Not really sure how AI is gonna help with anything on the track, but I'm also an idiot who has NO idea how any of this crap works.
So, I reckon it can't hurt? Maybe AI could've predicted months ago that Joey Logano would be the worst NASCAR champion in the history of time, and thus helped the sport avoid an absolute mutiny from a bunch of pissy fans who hated how the season ended?
I doubt it, but never say never.
You know what AI can't predict? What kind of #content Hooters Gianna is gonna pump out next.
Gianna>robots, any day of the week and twice on Sundays!
A true December to Remember for Gianna and Angry Rhino Blaney! Married in Aspen, a banger of a honeymoon, and now it's time to return to the garage and resume their duties as NASCAR's top-ranked Power Couple.
Giddy-up!
From one pistol to another, let's check in on NASCAR Hall of Famer Mark Martin, who has gone on one hell of a career arc:
My God. What a few days for Mark, too!
First, he's named Cracker of the Millennium by totally sane/not at all messed-up Antonio Brown, and then he introduces the world to the revolutionary ball-cooler he used to hook up to his nuts during a race.
Incredible. I just wish I would've known about that before Christmas! I'd love that for my King Ranch. Oh well. Maybe next year.
You know who definitely needed a nut-cooler over the weekend? Shane van Gisbergen!
"A bit of a ride."
Whatever you say, SVG!
Finally, while today's class is apparently one big throwback, let's end it with some Michael Waltrip love.
Take us home, Mikey! And, of course, Larry Mac.
See you next week.