Pittsburgh Penguins Recover Stolen Jaromir Jagr Bobbleheads, Nation Rejoices

Almost two weeks ago, the Pittsburgh Penguins were victimized by one of the most brazen examples of cargo theft when a shipment of thousands of Jaromir Jagr bobbleheads went missing en route to PPG Paints Arena for a giveaway.

On Monday, the team revealed that the shipment had been recovered.

Ladies and gentlemen — *wipes tear* — they're coming home.

"The Penguins were notified last week that a special cargo recovery team negotiated the return of the stolen property to a secure warehouse located in Ontario, California. The truckload arrived in Pittsburgh today and is expected to be delivered to PPG Paints Arena within the next week," the team said, per NHL.com.

Fans will be able to pick up their bobbleheads — which now have one hell of a story attached to them which should help the resale value shoot up — on April 6 and April 7.

I love that a special cargo recovery team had to negotiate for the return of thousands of Jaromir Jagr bobbleheads. What a layup it must have been for them. How much leverage could the other side have had in those negotiations?

If the answer is more than "none leverage," I'd be stunned. 

What I would've given to be a fly on the wall in whatever seedy Ontario, California warehouse these people were operating out of the moment they pried open a crate and bobbleheads spilled out.

Opening a stolen shipping container must give you that same hit of dopamine you get when you open a pack of baseball cards. You might get something good like a couple of Lamborghinis or some pandas, or you might get thousands of bobbleheads.

What a rush…

They must have bumming hard when they realized what they had

There was no way to do anything with the Jagr bobbleheads because if you tried to sell one anywhere, someone would immediately go, "Hang on… isn't this one of those stolen bobbleheads?"

Then the thief panics and goes, "Hamana hamana hamana…" before grabbing the bobblehead and scurrying off.

Well, I'm just glad the people of Pittsburgh who got hosed a couple of weeks back and put their grandma's ashes back on the mantle thinking they'd never get a Jaromir Jagr bobblehead, can now happily return that urn to the back of the closet.