Patrick Bertoletti Wins Joey Chestnut-Less Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest, Miki Sudo Sets Women's Record

For the first time in many years, competitive eating GOAT Joey Chestnut was not part of the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, which means that for once every other eater on the stage wasn't vying for second place.

No, this year, they were vying for glory.

Chestnut was banned from competing in this year's edition of the Fourth of July tradition after a dispute with organizers, and while he'll still be pounding glizzies like it's his job (which it is) — he'll be competing against some of our nation's finest — but competing for a 17th title was off the table.

There were some heavy hitters as per usual like Geoffrey Esper, Nicholas Whery, Patrick Bertoletti, and James Webb (not the space telescope guy), all of whom could likely taste something other than just hot dogs for once: the sweet taste of victory.

Wehry jumped out to an early lead, but faded after about four minutes. That's when Bertoletti and Webb started swapping the lead back and forth, with Esper and Wehry both finishing strong.

But the mustard-yellow belt went to Bertoletti with 58 hot dogs and buns, while Esper was the runner-up with 53 hot dogs and buns sitting in his stomach like an anchor. Webb came in third with 52.

Bertoletti came into the day as the No.9 eater in the world, but after that personal best performance, he's expected to climb the rankings.

That's still a ways off from the record of 76, which Chestnut set in 2021.

Speaking of records, an all-time record was set at Coney Island earlier in the day.

On the women's side, Miki Sudo is the undisputed Lady GOAT if she wasn't already. The dental hygiene student won her 10th title and set a record by crushing 51 hot dogs and buns.

Imagine having her as your dental hygienist. I hate when hygienists talk to me because I feel compelled to respond no matter how much equipment is in my mouth. But Miki, I'd be thrilled to have her regale me with tales of competitive eating glory, then remind me to floss more.

While the big story of the day was the guy who wasn't there (although he'll be eating more dogs on Labor Day against his old rival Takeru Kobayashi), but those who competed on Coney Island today delivered the goods.

Now, they'll take some Tums, throw on their favorite comfort show, and try to weather the storm, if you catch my drift…