Paris Olympics Poop Protest Postponed After French Officials Chicken Out Of Swim In The Seine

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The thousands of citizens who planned to poop in Paris' Seine River will have to wait a few weeks, as French government officials have backed out of their scheduled swim in the filthy body of water.

The Seine is going to be a focal point of the upcoming Olympic Games. Not only will it host a boat parade during the Opening Ceremonies, it will also serve as the site of the open-water swimming events — a portion of the triathlon, a mixed-team relay race and the 10,000-meter.

Only one problem, though: The river is disgusting. And that's putting it mildly. It's full of trash and sewage, and swimming in The Seine has been illegal since 1923, thanks to high pollution levels.

But hey, let's throw the Olympians in there!

 

(Photo by LAURE BOYER/Hans Lucas/AFP via Getty Images)

The French government recently embarked on a $1.5-billion cleanup effort to get The Seine ready for the 2024 Summer Olympics And they were so confident, in fact, that French president Emmanuel Macron and Paris mayor Anne Hidalgo promised to take a dip in the river on June 23 — just to prove it's safe and acceptable for the Olympic athletes.

Macron, Hidalgo Bail On Swim In The Seine River

The cleanup project — along with the clunky temporary structures popping up all over Paris to support the crowds —effectively pissed off thousands of Parisians who didn't want to host the Games in the first place. 

And so the modern-day La Résistance was born! And the angry citizens all vowed to poop in the river on the day of the scheduled swim.

READ: French People Are Going To Take Dumps In The Seine In The Name Of Protest Ahead Of Olympics

But June 23 came and went without a protest. Because Macron and Hidalgo backed out at the last minute, citing "political reasons."

But it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what those "reasons" are.

Officials tested bacteria levels last week, and those tests came back with poor results. Paris region official Marc Guillaume said at a press conference on Friday that the Seine is still too polluted to swim.

So the poop protest is on hold until further notice. Regardless, though, the government had better figure something out — and fast. Opening Ceremonies are slated for July 26.