Paraguayan Swimmer Exiled From Olympics For Skimpy Outfits Infuriated Old Bosses With USA Remark

Paraguayan Luana Alonso, the ex-SMU swimmer who was recently exiled from Olympics Village for "inappropriate behavior," is a true patriot, and that apparently infuriated her old bosses. 

Red, White & Blue, baby!!

According to a report from a Paraguayan news outlet, Alonso expressed her desire to compete for the USA in the weeks leading up to the Olympics, even though she's obviously … from Paraguay. Duh. 

But she swam at SMU and attended Virginia Tech, and, like any sane human with two functioning eyes, saw that life in the USA is far better than anywhere else on this planet. 

And Luana lived here during Joe Biden's presidency! Imagine what she'd think when things were actually good!

Luana Alonso is the perfect American 

I mean, what a rollercoaster! Luana Alonso – who, by the way, was first discovered by OutKick in June (shocker!) – is such a pistol. Love this chick. She's the most American person I've ever heard of. 

Wears hot outfits and distracts all the fellas in the Olympic village? Check. 

Retires/quits after she loses? Check. 

Sneaks off to Disney even though they told her not to? Check! 

What a patriot. And now, it comes out that she wanted to compete for Team USA all along! 

"I want to represent the United States more," Alonso allegedly said during a live video on social media before the Olympics, according to Paraguayan outlet HOY.

The outlet went on to say that our girl wanted to swim for the US because it’s where she attended college and Team USA Olympic qualifications are much different than Paraguay’s.

But wait, there's more! Alonso's coach reportedly fired back!

"I read that she wants to compete for the United States," COP President Camilo Perez said, according to UNILAD. "There is no universality there. She came here as a Paraguayan. She has to train a lot more to represent USA, her times have to be much better."

Hey, Camilo. Why don't you leave the Xs and Os to us over here in America, OK? We'll decide if Luana Alonso is fit to swim for Team USA. She certainly won't be kicked out for looking too hot, I can promise you that. 

And if she wants to go to Disney, have at it. I personally wouldn't do that because I can't stand Disney, but if Luana wants to walk around all day, wait in lines, and spend $50 on a giant turkey leg, that's her right as an American. 

God bless the USA!