Oregon State, A Program Not Coveted By Any Major Conference, Declares It Will Not Entertain Invites...That Don't Exist

Oregon State wants the world to know it won't chase invites that almost certainly don't exist.

The world of college football is in a state of chaos after Colorado made the decision Thursday to join the Big 12 starting in 2024.

The PAC-12 has never been closer to collapse than it is right now. All bets are off. The ship is going down, people are bailing out water, programs are looking for new homes, all eyes are on Oregon and Washington and a couple more pieces falling could result in complete collapse.

Well, the Beavers want all the people who might come knocking at their door to know they're not going anywhere.

Oregon State vows to stay in the PAC-12. (© Brian Hayes/Statesman Journal / USA TODAY NETWORK)

Oregon State declares loyalty to the PAC-12.

University president Jayathi Murthy and athletic director Scott Barnes are doing their best to preach calm and claim they're staying put.

"Oregon State University joins with other Pac-12 members in reaffirming our commitment to the long-term strength and vitality of the conference. We are united by our shared values, our passion for the highest level of intercollegiate athletic competition, our leadership roles as Tier 1 research universities and our support for student-athletes’ academic and athletic excellence," Murthy said in a statement released Friday, according to OregonLive.com.

Oregon State releases delusional statement about PAC-12 loyalty. (Photo by Brian Murphy/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

Barnes added the school and program "trusts that the Pac-12 will secure a media rights deal that will strongly benefit the institutions that are remaining loyal to this conference. All of us at Oregon State will continue to work hard and diligently to continue the long-term membership and success of our athletic department at a national level."

Trusting the PAC-12 to "secure a media rights deal that will strongly benefit the institutions that are remaining loyal to this conference" sounds like playing Russian roulette with a fully loaded cylinder.

The Beavers go full Michael Scott.

I don't know why but I'm getting major Michael Scott vibes here. It's like when he just declared bankruptcy or claimed he didn't play in the NHL because there's too much time on the road.

There simply isn't time to have a family.

Oregon State and Washington State are the two worst brands in the PAC-12 by a massive margin. No P5 conference wants the Beavers and Cougars.

If the PAC-12 collapses, they'll likely be bound for the MWC. Declaring they're not going to look elsewhere would be like the guy at the local bar declaring he's not dating multiple supermodels. We know. It doesn't need to be said.

You can't decline something that doesn't exist. The Beavers have to cling to the PAC-12 to the bitter end. The conference surviving is OSU's only shot of remaining in a P5 conference.

October 22, 2016: Oregon State Beavers helmets lined up on a trunk at Husky Stadium in Seattle, WA. (Photo by Christopher Mast/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

Chris Rock famously joked men are only as loyal as their options allow them to be. That's not me endorsing straying, but it's what Rock said. If Oregon State had a ticket for a lifeboat, does anyone really think they'd be pledging loyalty to the PAC-12? Of course not, but there are no other options. It's ride with the PAC-12 and hope it survives for the Beavers.