New UCLA Football Coach Gives The Most Painfully Awkward Introductory Press Conference Of All Time

Well, UCLA is officially in the Big Ten. The Bruins are here, baby. Be confused by the geography all you want, nerds, but it's happening. 

Because college football has been flipped on its head over the past few years, there are a billion different teams in a billion different conferences beginning this season. You've got UCLA in the Big Ten. Texas in the SEC. Colorado in the Big 12. 

It's chaos. Good luck keeping up. 

Now, because of all this, coaches are sort of forced to give an awkward introductory speech to their respective conferences during media days. Sort of like a first day of school speech. Or when you're introduced at an AA meeting. 

Hi, I'm Zach and I'm a degenerate gambler who constantly throws big money on ridiculous parlays that almost never hit. 

Like that. 

Anyway, new UCLA head coach DeShaun Foster, who replaced Chip Kelly earlier this year, had his big moment in the spotlight earlier today during Big Ten media day, and it was … something. 

DeShaun Foster probably wants this one back

Whoaaaaa Nellie! What just happened? Look, I don't want to bash the guy if it's a public speaking thing. That's not nice. We all have our battles, and if he's just not a great public speaker, then I get it. 

I was a smart kid in school, but I sucked at taking tests. Just awful at it. I'm also not the greatest outdoorsman, but I can plunge the hell out of toilet. 

See? We're all good at certain things, and bad at other things. That's life. 

So, I'll give DeShaun Foster a pass here if that's the issue. Otherwise, this was potentially the most painful presser I've ever seen. 

It's sort of like when Mitch McConnell froze last year. Again, not funny, but also mesmerizing. Couldn't stop watching that and I can't stop watching this. Just a brutal start to your Big Ten tenure. 

"I’m just basically excited really, that’s it." Get the boys fired up, coach! It's football season. UCLA is HERE!