NASCAR Should Be Horrified By Disgusting Display, Pit Worker Nearly Impaled & Shocking Death Crushes Garage
What a waste of time that automobile race was. Thank GOD the fellas over in Augusta were on at the same time just a few channels down. Seriously.
NASCAR should be thanking whatever God they believe in that Rory was there to distract us yesterday.
Nobody watched the debacle of a race they put on at Bristol. I certainly didn't. I tried. But every time I turned it on, Kyle Larson was leading by a billion seconds over the rest of the field, and then … it was just over. Just like that.
I was flipping back and forth all day, but after a while, I just stayed with The Masters. I couldn't take it anymore. NASCAR has ruined Bristol completely. No passing. All the cars are the same. That was basically a glorified F1 race yesterday. Disgusting. We'll get to it.
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What else? Well, we're unfortunately gonna go from bad to worse, because a couple of just awful deaths rocked the sport over the weekend. It does make Kyle Larson's win a bit more noteworthy, so I guess all wasn't lost. But still.
I'm sure all 12 of you who watched the broadcast know who I'm talking about. For the others who didn't bother, you'll see here in a bit.
I've also got an awful lot of empty seats at Bristol (wonder why!?), angry Ryan Blaney, angrier Carson Hocevar, and Sam Busch playing grab-ass with Kyle.
If we have time, maybe we'll also head to Augusta with Hooters Gianna. We'll see.
Four tires, a splash of Sunoco racing fuel, and some Adderall to help us stay awake during that snoozefest … Monday Morning Pit-Stop – the ‘If Kyle Larson Wins, But Nobody Saw It, Did He?’ edition – is LIVE!
These numbers should make NASCAR queasy
Let's just go ahead and get the nasty stuff out of the way. I don't want to be negative all day, but, frankly, I'm gonna be. I don't have much of a choice.
If I were NASCAR commissioner Steve Phelps, I'd be mortified at that bullshit I saw yesterday. Horrified. Mortified. Bore-ified. Whatever ‘if-ied’ you want to use, Steve should be it.
Personally, I'd be sick to my stomach waking up today.
And if he's still not for some reason, let's go ahead and crank out some numbers to help get him there:
It's just disgusting. All of it. Makes my eyes bleed. Makes my head hurt. Makes me angry. The tires weren't a factor. The cars are too similar. No bump n' runs. No nothing. What in the world has happened to the Bristol we all grew up in? The one we loved?
That's two weeks in a row that NASCAR has just been follow-the-leader. Again, that's F1 shit. Nobody wants that. And please, save me your angry F1 emails. I don't care. It's a pansy sport.
There, I said it! And fine, email me anyway! Zach.Dean@OutKick.com. Bring it on.
I'm not gonna sit here and tell NASCAR how to fix it. I don't know. It's so far above my pay grade, we're not even in the same universe.
Is it a tire problem? I don't know. I certainly think this new car has made short-track racing pretty terrible. Martinsville stunk a few weeks ago. Bristol was putrid yesterday. There's certainly a pattern.
Maybe NASCAR needs to let them horses run a bit? Lord knows the fans – and drivers – have been asking for it. I don't know. But it needs to be fixed, and it needs to happen ASAP, because that was pathetic.
Let's see if the fans noticed!
At least Kyle Larson won for Jon Edwards
Look at that crowd. Goodness gracious. Again, the spring race at Bristol doesn't come close to the fall race, in terms of both drama and crowd-size … but still. That's horrific. I reckon they all just saw the leaderboard at Augusta after Saturday and made a business decision.
Clearly, a smart one, too.
Anyway, let's move on to some … more sad news. Yeah, it wasn't a great week for NASCAR.
For those who missed it, a couple industry giants – Al Pearce and Jon Edwards – died within hours of each other last Thursday afternoon.
Pearce, who worked for Autoweek, was 82 and reportedly suffered a heart attack. Edwards, currently the communications director at Hendrick Motorsports but famously known as Jeff Gordon's right-hand man during Jeff's two-decade career, was 53. His cause of death has not been announced.
Obviously, one was more expected than the other. Both, however, rocked the NASCAR world – including myself – in a way I haven't seen in quite some time.
Edwards, it should be noted, was also Kyle Larson's PR guy for a few years when Kyle came to Hendrick Motorsports. While Bristol sucked, Kyle did dominate, which led to a couple misty moments as the checkered waved:
Angry Blaney, grateful pit crew member & Hooters Gianna at Augusta!
It's rare that you see a sport rally together from all walks of life – players (drivers) and media alike – but NASCAR is different from the rest.
You get access to a NASCAR garage on race weekend that you don't get, say, on a football field or a baseball diamond. Trust me.
Folks can just walk around the garage area and literally touch the cars as they're being worked on. I wouldn't recommend it, but the possibility certainly exists.
The season is also 36 weeks long. NASCAR is, by far, the longest season of all the major sports in America. From February to November, this community is together for nearly every single weekend. Do you understand how long that is?
Drivers spend more time with the media – and their own PR people – than they do with their families most years. That's nuts. I couldn't do it. I wouldn't do it. But a ton of folks do, and they love it.
I didn't know Jon – I'd met him once or twice at Daytona – but I followed him for years. I was a Jeff Gordon fan growing up.
When I say Jon was Jeff's guy, I mean it. You didn't talk to Jeff without going through Jon. It wasn't an easy job – Jeff Gordon was a pretty big name for about 20 straight years, you know – but he loved it. He was good at it. From everyone I've talked to, he was good to everyone who approached him.
Again, it's not easy. Do you understand how popular Jeff Gordon was from 1995-2016? It was him, the Earnhardts, and then everyone else. Not easy.
Sad day. Sad weekend for NASCAR. This rare off-week came at the perfect time. Let's reset, for goodness’ sake.
Well, hang on … before we do that, let's quickly get to some good stuff on the way out.
First up? Head on a SWIVEL!
Good God … we nearly had a Final Destination situation on our hands here. That was a close one! Maybe NASCAR needs to revisit the whole ‘holding the tires on with one lugnut even though the cars are going 200 MPH’ thing? I don't know – just a thought!
Next? Let's check in with Ryan Blaney and Carson Hocevar. Fellas – did y'all like the racing yesterday??
"I ain't f--king going nowhere." There's your new slogan for Bristol. Good work, NASCAR. Bravo!
You know where Angry Rhino did go last week ? Augusta! Better yet, he brought Hooters Gianna with him.
Take us home, Sammy Busch!
That's our girl! Been a while, Gianna. I know Hooters is in the shitter right now, but come on! Don't be such a stranger next time.
Lord knows we need you now more than ever – especially if NASCAR's gonna keep putting shit products on the track like yesterday.
You and Sam Busch will be all I have left for these Monday morning debriefs. And you know what? That's OK.
Take us into the off-week, Sam!