New NASCAR Rivalry Heats Up With NSFW Vegas Tirade, Teammates Fight, Middle Fingers Fly & Mystery NASCAR WAG

Kyle Larson was the defending Las Vegas winner, fastest in practice, the betting favorite, won all three stages, and then won the race. 

And yet, for some reason, I didn't make one single bet on him yesterday. Not one. I thought about it. But, of course, thought better of it. What an idiot. 

And that's why I'm up at at 7 a.m. on a Monday pumping out this award-winning NASCAR column for you guys. I love doing it, but I also very much need the paycheck. Clearly. 

Yes, we'll talk Kyle Larson today. Well, actually, we probably won't. He won the race. Dominated it. Frankly, made it sort of boring. That's all you need to know. Moving on …

Instead, we'll check in with Angry Ryan Blaney (he's back!), Ross Chastain, Corey Lajoie, and probably a few others. 

I assume Sam Busch will make an appearance because she played some craps during her week in Vegas, and Gianna also picked her out a wedding dress, so we'll obviously dissect it like the moon landing later today. 

Sound good? Good!

Four tires, a couple drops of Sunoco racing fuel, and maybe a couple beers for Ross and Ryan … Monday Morning Pit-Stop – the 'Dicks & Dumbf--ks edition – is LIVE!

Angry Ryan Blaney is BACK!

Might as well start with the defending NASCAR champ. 

It's been a solid start to the year for Blaney, who clearly hasn't lost any of that momentum from last fall. 

Did you know, going into yesterday, he had a top-2 finish in four of the last five races? That's an insane stat. 

Between that and bagging Hooters Gianna, it's been an unreal run for our guy. 

But, of course, all the success can make him less angry, which isn't great for the #content game. 

Thankfully, though, we have Ross Chastain in the garage pissing everyone off still, which seemed to have put the fire right back in Rhino's belly yesterday!

How about Corey LaJoie actually being good yesterday?

By the way, the two bets I placed Sunday instead of taking Kyle Larson to sweep literally everything, which would've been the smart thing to do?

Kyle Busch to beat Ryan Blaney (he did not) and Chase Elliott to beat Tyler Reddick (he definitely did not). 

Nice. Strong showing. What a dumbass. Just like Chastain!

Speaking of Tiny Ty, he finished second and nearly pulled off a stunner in the closing laps. 

He came up just short (pun obviously intended), but he did get some help from OutKick favorite Bubba Wallace, who pushed him like hell towards the end because he was on fresher tires and a billion laps down. 

So close. Kyle was never losing that race, though. Easy money for anyone with half a brain!

Anyway, as for Corey LaJoie … he was actually fast yesterday. When was the last time someone in a Spire Motorsports automobile ran second in a non-plate race? Probably never, I'd imagine. 

He ultimately got in a little snafu with teammate Carson Hocevar, and then wrecked, so the day ended about how you'd expect for a Spire driver.

Still, good little run!

NASCAR birds, wedding dresses & first-time winners

Good run from Corey, although I think whoever his spotter is needs to be fired and sent to the sun. 

How in the hell can you watch that – even in real time – and think Brad Keselowski got into the back of him? Weird. 

Now, Keselowski did have himself a day yesterday, including welcoming rook Josh Berry to the Cup series with a beautiful little gesture:

Look, I know it's not much, but when the same guy wins all three stages, the race, and there's no real drama, I don't know what ya'll want me to do. I'm trying here. Some weeks, it ain't easy. 

That does give me a chance to bring this little Josh Berry gem back to life:

Nothing like a little double-finger salute to start your week! You are welcome. Let's go attack it now. 

Next? Hooters Gianna Tulio and Angry Ryan Blaney had a big week in Vegas … wedding dress shopping and taking dramatic engagement photos:

That last one had nothing to do with anything, but it's a slow day, so I felt like I owed everyone something. So, there ya go. You're welcome!

While we're talking NASCAR WAGs, here's Sam Busch rolling the dice with Kyle:

Finally, Rajah Caruth won the NASCAR Truck series race Friday night, becoming only the third black driver to ever win one of these automobile races. 

It was a cool moment. Obviously, the media ate it up. If I didn't mention it, I'd be called a racist. If I did, you all would call me a lib. I've been doing this long enough, I know how this goes. 

So, here's the win, along with Bubba's (duh) reaction, because we can't do anything without Bubba Wallace in today's NASCAR. Do with it what you wish:

Chase Elliott's maybe girlfriend takes us into the week

Coupe quickies …

First, I think Caruth is the real deal. Seems like a legit racer. Nearly won last week, too. It's good for NASCAR to have actual youngins win these races, especially when Cup guys like Kyle Busch are in the field. That's impressive. 

He's also driving the Hendrick car all year. That certainly helps, if we're being honest. So Rajah Caruth having this much success early on shouldn't be that surprising. 

Both can be true. Both are true. 

Finally, Chase Elliott continues to be a middling race car driver this year through three weeks – when was the last time he had actual winning speed? – but at least his maybe girlfriend Ashley Stephenson is back to posting heaters on Instagram.

No clue if these two are still together, but the folks over on Reddit tell me she just put pictures of Chase back on her page, which in 2024 means they're banging again. 

Welcome to MMPS, Ashley! Can't believe we finally found you, but I'm glad we did. It helps on an otherwise slow Monday in March. 

It's a crowded field around here with Sam, Hooters Gianna, McCall Gaulding and Natalie Decker, but it looks like you're more than up for the challenge. 

Let's see whatcha got.