NASCAR Pulls Disgusting Move With The Hooters Girls, Bubba Wallace Is 'A F--king Idiot' & A Fight In Turn 3!

Can't believe it took Kyle Larson till nearly APRIL to win a NASCAR automobile race. I thought this guy was supposed to be good? The chosen one? The best driver since Earnhardt?

And it took him six weeks to win? Loser!

Welcome back to Victory Lane, Kyle. Been a while. Hard to believe, but the last time he won was at Charlotte last October. But, clearly, he is the best driver in the field right now. That's why he beat Alex Bowman yesterday at Miami. Not because Bowman hit the wall. Because Kyle's just … better. 

I realized it as I was watching those final laps unfold. He's just a more talented racer. He can go high when nobody else can. He can make the car do things that nobody else can make it do. And when they try to make it do those things, they hit the fence and finish second. 

As is life, I reckon. Chin up, Alex!

We'll talk about Larson today – probably not much more, though. That's enough. We'll also get to Bubba Wallace getting kicked in the teeth, angry Chase Elliott, NASCAR pulling an absolutely disgusting, un-American move with Hooters, and Fox going with Indy over NASCAR on the main network. 

Can't wait to see how that worked out!

Four tires, a couple extra drops of Sunoco racin' fuel since gas prices are coming down (thanks, Trump!), and a pair of orange Hooters shorts to hang in the NASCAR Hall of Fame … Monday Morning Pit-Stop – the ‘The Breast Thing In NASCAR Is Now Fried’ edition – is LIVE!

I was called a communist on Friday!

Didn't see THAT one coming, did you? You were thinking you were gonna get some Grade-A NASCAR analysis, and instead, you're getting a commie!

But stick with me – I promise it all fits together. 

Anyway, before clocking out Friday, the folks over at Fox Weather wanted to have me on to talk about the race. South Florida is currently under fire, if you haven't heard, so I assume that was the connection. Unless they're all just huge Homestead fans over there. They are not, as you will see. 

During our three-minute conversation, I talked about how great the racing had become at Homestead with this new, woke, Gen-7 car. And while yesterday's race didn't live up to the hype of last October, it was still a solid race, no? 

Sure, the leaders got strung out once in a while, but I'm not gonna be too picky. Like I always say … it wasn't New Hampshire. Thank God. 

Anyway, all that to say … I thought I nailed it pretty well in this interview. Here, take a look! 

Tough day at the office for Rhino and Chase

Thoughts? Takeaways? Impressions? 

Look, I don't care. I thought it was hilarious. Look at my face. A little shocked at first, but I locked right back in. Ain't the first time I've been called a commie in my life. Bounces off of me like rubber bullets. 

Bless this woman's heart. I felt so bad. It's not easy bullshitting your way through a NASCAR interview at 3 o'clock on a Friday, so I don't blame her one bit for being a little nervous. 

I once helped teach a Sunday School class back in the day to a bunch of little kids, and, while reading a bible verse, said "incest" instead of "incense." So, I get it. Mistakes happen. Life is all about how you bounce back! 

Here, just ask Chase Elliott and Ryan Blaney – who had a couple of great days yesterday!

Better day at the office for Bubba … sort of

Yeah, I mean … I don't know if that was the right call on Chase. I don't really see much there. Seems a little nitpicky by NASCAR. 

But also, I'm sure they had no interest in essentially forcing their most popular driver to the back of the field for the rest of the afternoon, so probably not intentional. 

As for Ryan … he had the best car yesterday by a mile and probably wins that race going away if Penske could build a half-decent engine. 

What's the deal there? That's two blow-ups already this year for Blaney. Do you know how rare that is in today's NASCAR? He drives for PENSKE, not Subaru. Clean it up!

Speaking of cleaning things up – good little finish for fan-favorite Bubba Wallace yesterday. Hell, I thought he was gonna win for about two minutes there before the Hendrick fellas realized they had plenty of horsepower to catch him. 

Still, he led 50 laps and finished third, despite nearly throwing it all away on the final restart:

Indy on FOX, RIP Hooters, but hello Celsius!

Not sure I'm buying Bubba's "it's been a tough year" act when he won a Duel race in Daytona, finished 9th at Atlanta and currently sits 7th in points, but he's also crashed twice, so I guess it's fine. 

I do admire someone who can restart in third gear and still manage to stay in the lead. Tough to do. 

OK, that's plenty of Bubba talk today. Lord knows you all will let me hear about it. I'm quite sure of it. 

And hey! If you want to let me hear about it – or anything else (please, anything else) – join the class! Zach.Dean@OutKick.com. 

Here are the Celsius girls with Toni Breidinger as a peace offering. Feel better now?

See? We all good now? Good! 

Now, it's a GOOD thing the Celsius girls are backing NASCAR, because buddy, there is a giant void to fill. Two of them, actually. 

Two giant, beautiful voids. Sad. 

Just sickening. Absolutely sickening. The Hooters-NASCAR relationship is officially dead. Over. Donezo. Kaput. 

One of the most beautiful, pure, symbiotic relationships in the history of time ends in flames – and a mountain of debt. 

It's like seeing your parents call it quits. Like watching your dad drive away in the U-Haul.

Hooters has been in the dumper for about a year now – probably longer. They mulled filing for the dreaded Chapter 11 in February, but their problems really began last spring. That's when Hendrick Motorsports told the ladies in orange to hit the bricks. 

That's right. Evicted. Kicked to the curb. Fired. 

It was depressing when it happened, but understandable. Hooters was a main sponsor of Chase Elliott and they weren't paying the bills. Finally, a year later, Hooters agreed to pay $900k as a settlement, and officially put an end to the madness. 

Nobody in this country embraced Hooters more than NASCAR. Frankly, it was one of the best things still going in a sport that's ever-changing. 

New (woke) car. One lugnut instead of five. Stage-racing. Streaming services out the ass. It's all different. But Hooters was always a steady, guiding light for us old-school fans. 

There was nothing more American than Hooters and NASCAR. It reminded us all – especially during the Biden era – of a better time and better days. 

Hopefully Hooters gets out of the shitter. I really mean that. Hooters is NASCAR. NASCAR is Hooters. 

Maybe one day, they'll find each other again. Lord knows we're all rooting for 'em …

… unlike the wokes over at IndyCar!

Obviously, that's a joke. Well, the last part. Not the first. IndyCar WAS on big Fox yesterday while Homestead was relegated to FS1, but all race fans were eventually watching NASCAR because of technical difficulties out at Thermal. 

I ain't saying much more than that, for obvious reasons – and because of who signs my paychecks. I'll just say … maybe we leave NASCAR on the main channel from now on? Just a thought. 

OK, that's it for today. Here's some grassroots BEEF on the way out. 

See you at Martinsville.