Let's Power Rank The Mets' New Racing Mascots

I don't know about you, but I think there are few moments in sports that happen between whistles, innings, periods, quarters, or halves that are better than a mascot race.

Presidents, sausages, some former track star wearing a superhero costume leaving some fan in the dust on the warning track, I'm here for all of it.

Look no further than the electric factory that was the Prudential Center after Mrs. Fields finally got off the schneid, and maybe that's part of what inspired the New York Mets to get in on the fun by introducing a new mascot race featuring representatives from the 5 boroughs.

That's right, The Pizza, The Skyscraper, The Ferry, The Giraffe, and The Subway will do battle this season at Citi Field, but not all symbolic mascots are created equal, so let's rank them and see who we think might be the New York City icon to beat this season.

5). The Pizza

It seems to me they had a hard time giving Brooklyn something and just said, "F--k it; they can have pizza."

I mean, I can't think of anything better. Maybe "a hipster douche who leeches off of his parents while writing and performing terrible folk music?"

Meh, too wordy…

My hopes are not high. The Pizza. It looks a little too HR Pufnstuf for my liking, and — this will be a recurring theme by the way — it's not aerodynamic. A little too top-heavy. Which I think will be its Achilles (Anchovies?) heel.

4). The Skyscraper

I don't know about you, but when I think speed, the first thing that comes to my mind is a stationary building.

I think that this was another instance when they had no clue what to give a borough and they just were like, "Skyscrapers… they've got a bunch of those" and the rest is mascot race history.

Again, The Skyscraper is a bit too top-heavy for my liking, and I have my questions about it getting through an 81-race schedule without tipping over.

Still, sometimes slow and steady wins the race ,and maybe if there's mayhem at the front and it turns into a race of attrition(and based on some other contenders, there probably will be), it could maybe steal a W or two.

3). The Giraffe

The Giraffe is a nod to the Bronx Zoo as far as I'm aware and I don't know if it was their intent to make him look like Geoffrey the Giraffe of Toys R Us fame today, after being on the beach for a couple of years, and I love it.

Still, I think he might be a dark  ̶h̶o̶r̶s̶e̶ giraffe candidate on a lot of nights at Citi Field.

The way I see it, Geoffrey the Giraffe, after years of living off Hot Pockets and Cup O' Noodles, is still way more nimble than a slice of pizza or a 1000-foot-plus steel and concrete building.

You may not like it, but it's just science, folks…

2). The Ferry

Staten Island is represented by The Ferry, and if there's a mascot that I can see doing anything it takes to win, it's The Ferry.

I don't want to judge a book by its cover, but there is some serious crazy in that boat's eyes.

Like, if there's one mascot that might phone up Randall Simon and have him give the Giraffe the ol' Jeff Gillooly special for old time's sake, it's the Ferry.

Thanks to its shape, I think The Ferry will be slippery in clean air, so if it gets out front early, the race could be over, Johnny. 

Unless…

1). The Subway

Queens is represented by The Subway, and it looks like the mascot to beat, in my opinion.

Did you ever have someone say that a racecar is on rails? It means its fast and handling well.

Do you know what else is on rails? Yeah, subways.

This one has some kind of bird-looking thing on top of it. I don't know what it's supposed to do, but I'll assume its wings are meant to direct airflow and generate downforce.

I think The Subway is going to be the mascot to beat this season for sure.