Let's Cut Loyola Basketball Some Slack: Maybe Fist-Bumping A 105-Year-Old Isn't A Great Idea

Loyola University Chicago Ramblers players have been getting dragged all day long after it looked like some of them iced the team's centenarian superfan Sister Jean.

I'll admit, it wasn't a great look. If someone parks the wheelchair of your school's most famous old lady fan, at least give her a nod, guys.

However, I — a noted advocate for finger safety — feel that the players should not be condemned, but, rather their actions in keeping the 105-year-old digits of one Sister Jean intact, should be commended.

I began my finger safety crusade in college when what started as a fun day of beach volleyball turned tragic when the only girl in attendance with any volleyball experience spiked a ball into the pinky finger of my left hand.

That day changed me… and left me with a weird, crooked pinky finger with a chicane in it.

But I swore to do what I can to protect fingers from injury, and I would imagine that none are as high-risk — next to dudes that juggle chainsaws — as the arthritic digits of a 105-year-old lady.

I'm not one of those old people doctors and I've never actually fist-bumped anyone over 100 years old so this is guesswork, but I'd imagine it's like fistbumping a Ziploc baggy filled with chalk. 

Even the gentlest celebratory bump could turn everything to dust.

There's not enough ensure in the world to protect poor Sister Jean's fingers from the excited fist bump of a victorious college basketball player.

I think it was probably good that they spared Sister Jean that barrage of bumps because, sure maybe her knuckles that have been around since Woodrow Wilson was in office can stand one fist bump, but not a dozen of them in quick succession.

That's just a fist-bumping bridge too far... speaking of which, Sister Jean was in her 20s when World War II happened; how wild is that?

Still, I felt bad seeing Sister Jean sit there long after all of the players had left the court and showered up (some say Sister Jean is still sitting there to this day, waiting for a fist bump that never came).

Maybe next game, we hold off on the fistbumps, and each of the players can bow to Sister Jean. Not like she's royalty (although some would argue that she is) but more like a Japanese courtesy bow. 

I like the bow. It's quick, there's no touching, and best of all, no one's fingers have ever been injured from a bow.