Kyle Busch Vows Revenge In Heated Pit Road Talk, Chase Elliott Tells NASCAR To F--k Off & WAG Trip To The Lake
First road course down and, yep, we had pissed off drivers, pit-road confrontations, a couple F-bombs and F-Yous, and even a NASCAR WAG sighting at the beach.
OK, that last one had nothing to do with the first four, but you catch my drift.
Not a bad little road race yesterday at COTA, huh? I mean, it wasn't the best. I've certainly seen better. William Byron winning probably won't set the ratings on fire (and by probably I mean definitely won't), but it wasn't awful.
Is that a low bar in today's NASCAR? Sure. But what do you want from me here? I'm grinding on an otherwise slow final Monday of March, so grind with me!
Let's get to work.
We're gonna check in with angry Kyle Busch and little, tiny Christopher Bell today. Pit-road battle for the ages yesterday and the oddsmakers had a clear favorite.
We also had one during Saturday's Xfinity (Busch) race, so we'll review the film from both during today's debrief.
What else? Bubba Wallace got dumped more times than that one buddy from college who kept sleeping around, Chase Elliott told NASCAR to politely go f--k themselves, McCall Gaulding spent her birthday on the lake, and we're gonna open the mailbag today for the first time in a long time.
It's STUFFED, by the way, so buckle up.
Four tires, enough fuel to help Christopher Bell fight Kyle Busch, and some SPF 40 for OG McCall …
Monday Morning Pit-Stop – the ‘All My Rowdy Friends’ edition – is LIVE!
It was a tough day on the course for Bubba Wallace
Just in case ya'll were having a nice, stress-free start to the week, I figured I'd kick the tires and ruffle the feathers with OutKick fan favorite Bubba Wallace.
It's been a while since Bubba made a MMPS appearance, and we can't let that happen. The Google Gods don't like it when Bubba goes missing, and us bloggers are nothing if not loyal to the GGs.
The good news for you Bubba haters, though, is that our guy was being punted every which direction yesterday, and it started on the very first lap.
Somehow, Bubba somehow managed a top-15 finish, which is saying a lot considering when I turned the race on a little late he was dead last and a billion seconds behind the leader.
F--k you, toe link!
Kyle Busch versus Christopher Bell is the mismatch of the century in NASCAR
Like I said, Bubba coming home 15th after all that was pretty impressive. Ya'll don't wanna hear it, and I get it, but I'm here to report the facts (loosely, of course).
Now, you know who didn't finish 15th? Christopher Bell. The JGR driver brought her home second, and nearly caught William Byron there at the end. Way closer than I thought, if we're being honest.
Side note: no offense to William Byron or Christopher Bell (OK, maybe a little), but who saw those two being the fastest drivers out of the gate this season? And how secretly bummed is NASCAR about it?
I'm pretty sure Billy the Kid and Ryan Blaney's sister broke up, too, which really makes it tough to root for him. Whooof.
Anyway, back to Christopher Bell … he got a little loosey-goosey with the nose of his Toyota at times yesterday, and by that I mean he dive-bombed Kyle Busch like it was a video game.
Kyle quickly let him know that this was in fact NOT a video game.
Chase Elliott continues to be the only Hendrick driver with just zero speed
That last tweet? Funny. It's how I felt watching this unfold on the TV. Absolute mismatch.
And Bell looks TERRIFIED the entire time. I don't blame him one bit, by the way. There are certain guys in that garage who you treat like the crazy neighbor across the street with a gun collection – you be NICE to them – and Kyle's certainly one of them.
Busch, by the way, pretty much predicted this a few weeks ago on Pat McAfee's progrum:
Look, for the life of me, I can't find the footage of the Bell-Busch incident. Frankly, I'm not sure it exists, because there were so many wrecks at COTA the FOX fellas couldn't keep up, which usually happens at road races.
But I saw it live, and I think Christopher is full of crap with that above explanation. It was a textbook dive-bomb, and now he gets to sleep with one eye open for the reason of the season.
"Have I ever wrecked you?"
"No"
"OK, well that sh*t's coming."
Buckle up, Chris!
As for Chase, he hasn't won a race in a billion years, hasn't been in contention to win a race in a billion years, is no longer good on road courses, and got nabbed yesterday for cutting the track, which he swears was BS but NASCAR penalized him anyway.
Good day for the Most Popular Driver!
Xfinity kerfuffle and checking the mail!
"Well, sorry. F--k you," is hilarious from Chase. I respect that. Need that fire moving forward, big guy, because we need to start winning some automobile races here pretty soon.
Seriously, it's been a MINUTE. I'm talking over 18 months. I think Biden was still able to use the regular Air Force One stairs the last time Chase won a race!
OK, let's talk kerfuffles before we take a dip with McCall Gaulding. Sound good? I hope so, because it's what Kevin Harvick would want.
Didn't have Sage Karam (who?) calling Parker Kligerman talentless on my 2024 NASCAR Bingo card, but that's why they play the games, am I right?
How sneaky good has Harvick been since a pretty rough start in the booth? Love that he's just sort of the guy who now f--ks around for three hours instead of taking it seriously. That's the sweet spot. Stay there, Kevin.
Mail time!
I got a TON of fresh envelopes in the ‘ol PO box last week after the Bristol race, and most of ya’ll seem to … like it! That's rare in NASCAR.
Here are a few:
From Alex:
I made my first trip to Bristol this weekend and met my 24 yr old son there (he is in Nashville I am in NC). I have been to a couple Nascar races and I follow the sport mainly through your posts each Monday (keep up the good work).
It was my sons first Nascar race and it was GREAT we loved it. It gave us so much to talk about during the race and it was crazy that if you took your eyes off the leaders for a minute it changed. One sec that punk Ty Gibbs is in first and then I look away and he is in 10th.
It made it very exciting even though a lot of it was equipment manufactured. Bristol had gotten very stale with everyone going around in one line forever, but the regular cautions, constant lead changes and drivers using 4 different lines made it a blast to watch.
Thanks, Alex! Couldn't agree more.
Also, that's a ton of pressure to put on me by using this column as your weekly NASCAR recap. Good thing I do some of my best work with my back against the wall. Is ESPN showing you NASCAR WAGs on the lake today? Didn't think so.
Next!
From AK in West Texas:
I was reading your MMPS column (favorite column in the site, and I’m a big Screencaps and Nightcaps fan) and had to write in about Bristol.
I thought it was a very intriguing race. There were comers and goers, passing, and experience really showed here. The only thing that would’ve made it better would be if the tires lasted maybe 80 laps instead of 50. Get a nice balance in there. The problem is, who knows if it can be replicated. Anyway, thanks for all you do. Keep it up.
Thanks, AK! Could I have edited that down? Sure. But why remove the first part when I can instead keep it in, blow it the hell up, and bring it into my boss's virtual office today when I demand a raise?
From Nick:
Hey there!
I loved the race, and as you referred to how much the drivers themselves had a part to play in their win. It was crazy how there was 40+ lead changes and tires failing EVERYWHERE. Anyway wanted to let you know that as per requested, and also say that I look forward to reading your NASCAR recaps every Monday! Keep up the great work!!
Thanks, Nick! See above.
Finally, here's the obligatory wet towel from last week, which I also respect because I LOVE a salty NASCAR fan. Ya'll are the best.
From Ryan:
It was must watch TV in a bad way , like a game of chicken waiting for a tire to blow.
NASCAR OG McCall Gaulding enjoys the lake on the way out
Thanks, Ryan! I don't know, though, if there's such thing as "bad" must-watch TV. If it bleeds, it leads. Probably a bad analogy to use for NASCAR, but you get my point.
Anyway, ya'll seem to like the whole me-giving-out-my-email thing, so I reckon we'll do it again.
Feel free to write to me about anything, but I'd also like to know your take on who would in a fight between Kyle Busch and Christopher Bell.
Zach.Dean@OutKick.com. Gulp.
Take us to Richmond, McCall.