Kevin Love Shows WWE Fandom, Drops Elbow On English Teachers In Royal Rumble Letter Of Yesteryear
Believe it or not, Kevin Love still plays basketball.
I promise.
No, really. He plays for the Heat. Well, sometimes.
The 36-year-old big man has laced ‘em just 17 times this season and averages under 12 minutes and six points per outing. For his efforts, Miami’s paying him $3,850,000 this season.
Not a bad gig.
And it’s a good thing basketball worked out for him, because English teacher likely wasn’t in the cards.
Not to mention, it pays a little better to rebound than it does to (hopefully) hammer home the difference between your and you're.
The Undertaker poses for a photo with Kevin Love of the Cleveland Cavaliers before a game against the New York Knicks on October 25, 2016 at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland, Ohio. (Photo by David Liam Kyle/NBAE via Getty Images)
How do I know Love wouldn’t have been a present-day Mr. Feeny? Easy. Love took to Instagram on Friday to share a letter he wrote in anticipation of a WWE – then WWF – event, the Royal Rumble, 26 years ago. The storytelling by 10-year-old Love would rival Mark Twain's most prestigious pieces. But the spelling, grammar and punctuation… Oh, that damn punctuation - is G-League stuff.
Kevin Love Penned A Punctuation-Disaster About The WWE Royal Rumble
If only Love could've borrowed a few bucks from his future self to buy himself a couple of commas or a period.
Kevin Love has more NBA titles (one) than this sheet of loose leaf has combined commas and periods (0). This is nightmare fuel for English teachers. Some sort of sick joke that spans, by my count, 76 words (I assume my counting is correct, but this is about English, not Math, so keep it movin'), with zero punctuation.
Love, 26 years later, noticed as much and captioned his accompanying IG reel with: "The sentence that never ended" and #punctuationmatters.
Naturally, the reel's caption did not include a period. Outside of junior high girls, is there anyone in the universe who hates periods more than KLove?
Doubt it.
In case you were wondering, Love likely joined his English teacher in disappointment on January 24, 1999. "Stone Cold Steve Austin" did not kick everyone's ass at the Royal Rumble as Love had wished. Instead, WWE CEO-turned-wrestler, Vince McMahon, did what Love couldn't do and put an exclamation point on the evening, winning the main event.
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