Joey Chestnut Drops Another Historic Performance With Bologna-Eating World Record

Just when I think there's no way I could be more impressed by the gastronomic feats of competitive eating great, Joey Chestnut, he drops by Knoxville, Tennessee, and eats enough bologna to put a lesser man into a coma.

The Ultimate Bologna Showdown took place on Saturday in Knoxville, Tennessee and Chestnut was back to see if he could retain his crown from last year, when he topped a field that included Knoxville Mayor Glenn Jacobs — known to many as WWE Superstar Kane — by eating an unbelievable 14 pounds of bologna in just eight minutes.

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Yeah, I can't figure out how that's even possible either. Like, I think I could put away a pound or two of bologna (and god knows I've tried, seeing as I hail from Lebanon, Pennsylvania; the birthplace of Lebanon bologna), but that's only if I really prepare by fasting for like a day.

And even then, I'd probably have to lie down for the rest of the day.

Not Joey "Jaws" Chestnut, though. 

No, he's built different.

How did the greatest competitive eater of our time — or any other time, for that matter — follow up that 14-pound performance from a year ago?

How does 15 pounds in 8 minutes sound?

This kind of thing totally boggles my mind, especially when you put it in perspective.

Have you ever gone to the deli counter and gotten a pound of lunch meat? It's quite a bit of meat, right?

Well, Joe Chestnut just ate 15 of those, and did it in 8 minutes.

I don't mean to stunt on you with some impressive math skills, but that's just a shade under two pounds of bologna per minute, and at the rate that Chestnut is increasing his output (input?), he should be hitting that two-pound per minute rate next year.

What an incredible performance from the best to ever do it.