Jerry Jones Addresses Jalen Tolbert's 'Sprained Nuts,' Instills Fear Of Stepping Off Curbs In Millions Of Men

Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Jalen Tolbert was the hero on Sunday when he scored the game-winning touchdown with just seconds on the clock on the road against the Pittsburgh Steelers, and now the man who signs his checks — Cowboys owner Jerry Jones — is addressing the injury that Tolbert was apparently playing with at the time, a case of "sprained nuts."

I'm not sure if that's what it's called in medical literature, but it still gets the point across.

Tolbert had this TD reception late to give the Cowboys a massive road win.

However, after the game, Tolbert's teammate Tyler Smith revealed that the wideout was dealing with a very uncomfortable injury.

"Sprained his f--king nuts," huh? I don't think I would have been able to walk after that let alone been able to score a touchdown. They'd have to bring out the golf cart and wheel me off the field while I tended to the affected area with a bag of frozen peas.

Not Jalen Tolbert though; he's built different.

On Wednesday, Jones was asked about Tolbert's nuts (I bet he didn't wake up thinking he'd be addressing that topic) during an appearance on radio station 105.3 The Fan. His answer was eye-opening, to say the least.

I'm one to take curbs in what I would describe as a vigorous manner. Like, when I take curbs, I'm hopping off of them without thinking twice.

Not anymore.

They're going to start referring to me around the apartment complex as "That Guy Who Always Steps Off Curbs Gingerly; As Though He's Stepping On To A Thin Sheet Of Ice."

It's a nickname so lengthy it has a semi-colon, but it will be mine and it will be apropos.

I was so hung up on the "stepping off the curb" part of Jones' take on Tolbert's reported nuts spraining, that I'm not 100 percent sure what he meant by "you can do it at midnight."

Does he mean if you turn the wrong way and the comfort gets caught a certain way you'll wake up in agony?! 

Was he talking about some kind of sex-related injury?! 

Getting up to pee in the middle of the night and catching one on the corner of the nightstand?!

Make it make sense so we can all keep our nuts just the way we like them: un-sprained.