Jack Eichel Takes Polygraph Test, Indicates He May Have Cried Over Tom Brady Leaving The Patriots

The reigning Stanley Cup champion Vegas Golden Knights are gearing up for a Winter Classic meeting with their expansion siblings, the Seattle Kraken. For some reason, part of the promotion for the NHL's marquee outdoor event involved Golden Knights star Jack Eichel taking a polygraph test, and there were some startling revelations.

Not the least of which was the fact that his name isn't even Jack... is anything real anymore?!

The first revelation was that Eichel may be as big a fan of 2000's Meet The Parents as Charissa Thompson is. As he should, that movie is great.

After that, the first major reveal came: Eichel's name is actually "John."

"Your name is Jack," the test administrator said in an attempt to establish a baseline.

"No, it's not," Eicle said. "You know my name's not Jack Eichel, right?"

That was momentarily shocking until Eicehl revealed that his actual name was John, which made it significantly less shocking. That was what his grandfather went by, and Johns going by "Jack" isn't exactly Earth shattering. John F. Kennedy used to do it.

The next question was about the former Boston University Terrier's affinity for the New England Patriots.

"Would you say that you're a big Patriots fan?" the administrator asked.

"Yeah, I am," Eichel said, before adding that he was a bigger fan back when Brady was leading the team.

"Would you say that you cried when you left the Patriots?" the administrator asked.

"No, I didn't cry," Eichel said.

That's when test operator Wendy came in from the top rope.

"That is false," Wendy said as she looked at the data.

Oof, that's a tough one. I know polygraph tests aren't always admissible in court, but now the entire internet is going to think Jack Eichel sobbed over Tom Brady leaving for Tampa.

The polygraph also taught us that Eichel is a little bummed about his playoff beard-growing ability and that teammate Brayden McNabb has the worst style on the Vegas roster.

If any Kraken players see that video, they're sure to get a little trash-talking ammo when the two teams hit the field at T-Mobile Park — which will be gussied up to look like the ocean with teams walking along docks to the rink and a sea monster pulling a ship into the briny deep in centerfield — for the Winter Classic on New year's Day.

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