Hip Surgeon's Dream: Grandparents Run 40-Yard Dash At Horse Racing Track

A horse racing track in Washington put on a PETA-approved event by hosting a grandparents race.

Seriously.

According to USA Today, It's exactly what it sounds like, and was part of Emerald Down's Grandparents Weekend festivities in Auburn, Washington. They loaded a whole bunch of elderly folks into the gates and let them loose on a 40-yard mad dash to the finish.

Now, look, I wanted to make fun of this — and I'm going to — but let's give credit where it's due: I did not expect some of these senior citizens to have wheels like they did.

A few of them were shot out of a cannon.

Now, two gentlemen ate dirt but no serious injuries were reported. That's great to hear, but a number for any hip surgeon sitting on the stands with Looney Tunes-like dollar signs in their eyes.

Also, I'm sure there are a lot of white New Balance sneakers that will not be quite as white ever gain after tearing through the mud like that.

These Old Folks Put On A Show, But Something Needs To Be Added...

The winner of the race was Steve Butler, the pride of Everett, Washington. He didn't get the fastest start out of the gate, but I feel like he knew it all along it was always going to be a race of attrition. He just held her steady while others crashed out ahead of him and took the W. Congratulations to him and everyone who took part.

I do think there was at least one missed opportunity that perhaps the track can institute next year. They should've given them horse racing pseudonyms that the announced would use to call the race over the PA. That would've been hilarious. Stuff like this:

You get the idea...

But hearing "Senilebiscuit, passes Aiden's Nanny, and beats Early Bird Discount by nose," would be fun.

Follow on Twitter: @Matt_Reigle