The Guy Who Wanted To Throw Down With The San Jose Sharks Mascot Teaches Us All A Valuable Life Lesson

I don't have any kids, but sometimes I wonder what wisdom I would impart to them if I did.

At the top of that list?: Don't ever — under any circumstances — fight a mascot.

I don't care if they pie you in the face, take your hat and frisbee it into the next section, or dump a box of popcorn on you. Just don't.

Now — in case my hypothetical kids are visual learners — here's a prime example of why this advice is so important.

A video has been making the rounds of a fan getting into a very heated exchange with the San Jose Sharks mascot, SJ Sharkie.

The incident occurred on Tuesday night when the Sharks hosted the Nashville Predators.

Now, we don't know what happened before the camera started rolling — maybe people were just upset that they had to watch a pair of garbage teams play — but one fan nearly started throwing hands (and fins) with SJ Sharkie.

Warning: there's a little bit of NSFM (Not Safe For Mascots) language…

Whoa… I know it's been a rough year for the Sharks, but not like this…

You Will Never Win A Fight With A Mascot

Now, as I mentioned, we don't know exactly what happened (although the non-mascot in the video did say something about getting pushed in his chair), but notice how there is no dignified way to get in an altercation with a mascot.

Sure, it's just a guy in the costume, but do you know what everyone else sees? You yelling at a cartoon shark with hockey gloves on. For the rest of your life, you'll be the guy who fought a mascot and will be used against you as leverage for the rest of your days.

"Sure, I may have blown the life-savings in crypto, but at least I didn't get caught on camera trying to fight a guy in a shark costume!

You can't come out a winner here. If you get bumped into by a mascot it's not a sign of disrespect, it's likely just that the performer in the costume is having to hoof it up and down arena steps for hours while wearing clown shoes and looking through a shark's mouth.

Also, a lot of these mascots are freak athletes. Like, I shouldn't have to tell you this, but if the mascot you insist on fighting rappels from the rafters, dunks basketballs at halftime, or does push-ups corresponding to the number of points their team has scored, you're going to lose.

So, remember kids: stay in school and don't do drugs, but most importantly, never get in a verbal or physical altercation with a mascot.