Malls, Evans, Boobs, And More: Here Are The Goofiest Storylines Of The 2024 Stanley Cup Final

When there's an almost-week-long gap between the NHL's conference finals and the Stanley Cup Final, we're going to need some storylines to whet everyone's whistles before the puck drops and the Edmonton Oilers and Florida Panthers battle out.

This year there has been no shortage of very goofy storylines.

Sure, there are some normal storylines like the best player in the world, Edmonton Oilers star Connor McDavid, is finally getting his shot at the Cup while the Panthers look to avenge their loss to the Vegas Golden Knights in last year's Cup Final.

It could be that this Edmonton-Florida matchup isn't exactly considered "ratings gold" and the two teams haven't had many notable run-ins before this. That has led to this influx of straight-up bizarre attempts at hype-building storylines.

Let's look at a few of the best ones.

Yeah, that's a pirate ship inside the West Edmonton Mall. (Photo by Gary Hutchison/SNS Group via Getty Images)

Battle Of The Mall Cities

This was the moment I knew this year's matchup was unlike any we've ever seen when it comes to needing weird storylines to cook up drama.

Canada's Sportsnet did a story talking about how Edmonton and Sunrise, Florida (where the Panthers play) have a lot in common.

Namely, the two are both home to large malls.

…yup.

Edmonton is home to the West Edmonton Mall, which is the second-biggest mall in North America, while Sunrise is home to Sawgrass Mills which is a big mall, but isn't even in the top 10 on the continent.

Unless this somehow played into some kind of mayor bet, I have no idea what this has to do with the Cup Final, but hey, now we all know it.

Maybe the Edmonton and Sunrise mayors could be some Mrs. Fields cookies or Orange Julius-es-es (Juli-i?) 

Because It's The Cups

I mean… this one is self-explanatory.

Boobs are playing a much bigger role in this Stanley Cup Final, and that's without that woman who sits behind the Stars' bench.

Both cities have big malls, but they also have fans unafraid to shed their cups if it's what it takes to win the Cup.

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Admirable — No, heroic.

Edmonton's Evan Bouchard and Florida's Evan Rodrigues are vying for the chance to be the first Evan to have his name etched on the Stanley Cup. (Getty Images)

An Evan Will Get His Day

We talked about it earlier this week, but a fan — whose name just so happens to be Evan — realized that a player named Evan will get his name on the Stanley Cup for the first time ever, regardless of the outcome.

Either Florida forward Evan Bouchard or Edmonton D-man Evan Bouchard will get that honor which is probably the highest honor anyone named Evan has ever received.

Leon Draisaitl, Aaron Ekblad, Sam Reinhart, and Sam Reinhart (not pictured) were the top 4 picks in the 2014 NHL Draft, and all of them will appear in this year's Stanley Cup Final.  (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

Finally, It's A Big Final For The Class Of 2014

As a member of the Class of 2014 (high school class, not draft class… unfortunately), I'm especially excited about this one.

The top four players selected in the 2014 NHL Entry Draft — Aaron Ekblad, Sam Reinhart, Leon Draisaitl, and Sam Bennett — are all appearing in this Cup Final.

Florida's Ekblad was the top pick in that draft, while Edmonton's Draisatl was the No. 3 pick.

Meanwhile, Buffalo selected Reinhart with the No. 2 pick and Calgary picked Bennett fourth overall. Both players have since been acquired by the Panthers.

All of those players play big roles for their respective teams, and now they'll have to do it on the league's biggest stage.