The Fan Vote For the NHL's Utah Team Is Here And Most Of The Names Are Atrocious
As promised, the new Utah NHL team is deciding its future moniker with a fan vote. Now the 20 names the team is considering are out, and while there are a couple of gems, most are absolute, unadulterated, steaming crap.
If you want to have your say in the matter, team owner Ryan Smith tweeted out the link on Wednesday evening.
But, it's always good to go into anything as an informed voter, so let's look at what they've got to choose from. We knew some of what was going to be considered thanks to some trademark applications a couple of weeks ago, but there are some new surprises.
As you may or not be aware, the team will use the geographic identifier "Utah" as opposed to "Salt Lake City" so keep that in mind as we go through names…
Venom: Venom is far from the worst, and some snake branding could be cool, but it's still a no from me, dog.
Ice: Would you call a football team "Field" or a basketball team "Court?" No. Hard pass.
Freeze: You're going to see a pretty big ice/cold/snow theme. All I could think of when I read this name was Arnold going, "Daaaaah, I'm Mistuh Freeze!" in Batman And Robin which made me like it a little more, but still not good.
Fury: Is this supposed to be an NHL team or one of those pro inline hockey teams that used to be on ESPN 2 back in the ‘90s? Speaking of which a lot of these names feel very ’90s…
Blizzard: This team will be playing in the same division as the Avalanche, so no, we don't need two snow names in the same division and neighboring states.
Blast: Blast of what exactly? Frigid air? Nuclear weapons they used to test in the desert? Farts?
Mountaineers: Not terrible, but not particularly exciting, although they would make a fortune selling Davy Crocket-style 'coonskin caps. It could be like their cheesehead!
Caribou: Not gonna lie… I kind of love this one. If you don't think caribou are tough enough to be the namesake for a hockey team, take a pair of antlers through your solar plexus and then get back to me.
Frost: Another cold name. We can do better, guys.
Outlaws: No NHL team has adopted a Wild West motif, and that could go in a lot of cool directions. This is one of the top options in my humble (read: correct) opinion.
Canyons: Just a little blah. Also, if you google that, you would just get a list of literal canyons in Utah. Bad SEO.
Mammoth: Great name, but there is a lacrosse team in Denver with that name if that matters. Still, a big Mr. Snuffleupagus-looking mascot wandering around the arena? I like it.
Utah HC: That of course stands for "Hockey Club" and while it's not exciting, I think it's classy as hell like one of those tuxedo t-shirts. Worth noting, the team was referred to as the "Utah Hockey Club" during the NHL Draft Lottery this week.
Glaciers: This is the "before picture" of Canyons. Again, just because it's hockey doesn't mean you have to have a cold-weather name.
Squall: Come on, guys, knock it off…
Powder: *Exasperated sigh*
Hive: This is a nod to Utah's nickname "The Beehive State" as well as the state flag. Not terrible, but not great. However, if this gets picked and the mascot isn't a beehive hairdo diner waitress, they can kiss my grits.
Yeti: This seems to be the crowd-favorite in the early going. As an amateur cryptozoologist (by which I mean I watch History and Travel Channel documentaries about Bigfoot) I like it. Of course, the Yeti is from the Himalayas not the Rockies, and the last NHL team that needed a name — the Seattle Kraken — went the mythical creature route too.
Swarm: This is just a more aggressive version of Hive.
Black Diamonds: Now, this one is interesting… that's obviously a skiing reference, but it would also come with a built-in intro song: "Black Diamond" by KISS. Unless, of course, Gene and Paul don't let them which is also possible.
…
There are some good names in there, but a lot of utter garbage too. I don't know what's up with all the ‘90s-sounding names, it’s weird.
Anyway, if I were to cast a vote — the survey asks voters to select up to four names — my ballot would be:
- Yeti
- Caribou
- Utah HC
- Outlaws
The first name to just miss out for me is Mammoth. It was so, so close to making the cut.
The survey also recalled that the team will wear uniforms that say "UTAH" in 2024-25, but the permanent identity based on the results of this survey will hit the ice for the 2025-26 season.