Dylan Raiola Cops To Not Writing The Poem He Used To Announce Nebraska Commitment

Nebraska commit Dylan Raiola was one of the big dogs in the 2024 college football recruiting class and he picked a unique way to announce his decision to become a Husker by posting a poem.

Raiola posted the poem late last year alongside a picture of himself at midfield.

What a wordsmith…

However, Raiola now admits that that poem was not his literary handiwork, but was written instead by someone his mom and dad hired.

Now, Railoa never claimed to have written that poem — so it's not exactly like he ripped a page out of the Claudine Gay school of poetry — but he revealed the true origins of it in an interview with Barstool Sports' Bussin' With The Boys podcast.

"I didn’t write it," Dylan Raiola said, per On3. "My dad and mom actually had somebody do it."

Dude, that's disappointing, because writing poetry is very easy.

When I was in college I had to study poetry in a creative writing class. It was as boring as it sounds, but I did learn a couple of things.

First of all, that rhyming couplet thing that Raiola's ghostwriter did? That's considered hacky these days. It'd be like if some comic hopped on stage at the Chuckle Hut and did ten minutes on airline food like it's 1987.

Secondly, I realized that with poetry, you just claim everything you do is an artistic choice, and that prevents anyone from criticizing your work. The professor I had made us write reflections about why we made the creative decisions we did with our poems.

If you gave even a halfway compelling case for why you wrote what you did, it couldn't be argued because it's your art, maaaaaaaan.

So, I get why a stud high school football player wouldn't want to sit and hammer out a poem, but I'm just a bit disappointed in Raiola for not taking 20 minutes to do it himself.

But if this is what we're doing, I'd like to offer my ghostwriting services to any high-end college football prospects who want poems.

I mean, look at this:

Huskers are red,
They haven't played great,
Now they've got Dylan
And could do better than four and eight.

That's gold, Jerry.