Dodgers Deposit 'Checkbook Baseball' Comment From Miles Mikolas By Shelling Cardinals Starter On Opening Day
The Los Angeles Dodgers opened their domestic season with a dominant, commanding 7-1 win over the Midwestern Farmers. Err, the St. Louis Cardinals.
And the lopsided result couldn't have been helped by Cardinals starter Miles Mikolas providing some bulletin board material heading into Opening Day. Mikolas earlier in March derided the Dodgers for playing "checkbook baseball," in part because their ownership actually decided to spend money commensurate with the team's television market.
READ: Stirring The Pot: Miles Mikolas Calls His Cardinals ‘Midwestern Farmers’ Compared To Dodgers
As part of his complaint, Mikolas described the Cardinals as "Midwestern farmers" by comparison, saying they'd be the "hardest working" group of farmers in baseball and that he'd love to "stick it" to LA. Mikolas, one of those poor, humble Midwestern farmers who's actually from the extremely wealthy enclave of Jupiter, Florida, did not, in fact, "stick it" to anyone on Thursday. Except for maybe the destitute Cardinals ownership who are paying him nearly $19 million this year to be a below-average starter with one of the lowest strikeout rates in baseball.
Mikolas, who presumably didn't realize that the Los Angeles Checkbooks currently rank ninth in yearly payroll for 2024, and the St. Louis Farmers rank 10th, got lit up by the Dodgers in a short, 4.1 inning outing to start the season. Perhaps because of his 3am wakeup call to till the fields, Mikolas gave up seven hits, five runs and two walks while recording just 13 outs. It's not clear whether he returned to shucking corn immediately after making roughly $633,000 to work for about an hour on Thursday.
Los Angeles - Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder Mookie Betts reacts after hitting a home run during the third inning of an opening day game against the St. Louis Cardinals at Dodger Stadium on Thursday. Mandatory Credit: Jason Parkhurst-USA TODAY Sports
Dodgers Lineup Cashes Checks On Opening Day
The top of the Dodgers lineup, Mookie Betts, Shohei Ohtani and Freddie Freeman, was virtually unstoppable. Especially against Mikolas. Betts walked to start the game, before Ohtani laced a double into right field, before making a base-running mistake rounding second.
But Freeman followed that up with an RBI single, and Max Muncy added a sacrifice fly after a Will Smith single got Freeman to third. Then in the third inning, Betts led off with a mammoth home run, shaking off the distraction of a checkbook that happened to fly in front of his face.
Ohtani walked, then Freeman launched another homer, to give the Dodgers a 5-0 lead over the Farmers.
They added two more runs later, and Tyler Glasnow shook off a Paul Goldschmidt homer to secure his first win in Dodger blue. Cardinals players, wearing hand-me-down overalls and talking through straw in their teeth, spent their postgame interviews describing how rough conditions were out on the north 40. Nolan Arenado, from upscale suburban Orange County, California, complained that his $31 million salary and $270 million total guarantee did not allow him to purchase the new undershirt he so desperately needed.
Miles Mikolas will take his $68 million worth of career earnings into his next start, along with the knowledge that guarantees for 2025 will send his total earnings close to $90 million. Not bad for a humble Midwestern farmer!