Dirty NASCAR Wreck Leads To Pathetic Fake Tears, Driver Nearly Fried & Show Your Lib Aunt This Earnhardt Truck

You know, we don't get to talk about a Saturday race around here too often. Unless, of course, it's me – and you guys! – taking a dump on the CW. 

And yes, we WILL talk some CW today – I went to the lion's den and came out alive! But, mainly, we're going to discuss the end of Saturday's Busch race, because it was NASCAR mayhem at its finest. 

And, by finest, I mean a dumpster fire, as Mike Joy so delicately put it on yesterday's Fox broadcast. 

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My God. EVERYONE is angry at the youngins today. I've never seen such outrage over someone getting dumped at Martinsville. Denny Hamlin, who is famous for dumping Chase Elliott in similar fashion nearly a decade ago, called it garbage. 

Denny called it that! He made that move famous! Sure, he's got a little more street cred than Sammy Smith, and he also played it off a tad better, but still … the absolute ANGER coming from the NASCAR community from a Martinsville dump has been a sight to behold. And that includes Dale Earnhardt Jr. 

Dale Jr.!

Anyway, we'll get to it. Obviously, we're going to somewhat zig while the others zag here. That is, after all, why we win awards. 

What else? I've got angry Joey Logano going after Ross Chastain, Cody Ware choosing third-degree burns and a 33rd place finish over a DNF, and a Dale Earnhardt pick-up truck for sale on Facebook Marketplace. This bad boy is incredible. God, I love this country. 

IF y'all act right, maybe we'll end the day with Hooters Gianna. Maybe. 

Four tires, some of that Sunoco racin' fuel, and some sort of un-bunching tool for all the folks with their panties in one over the Xfinity finish …. Monday Morning Pit-Stop – the ‘Everybody Hates Sam!’ edition – is LIVE!

Let's just get to it, huh?

The Cup race was fine yesterday. I enjoyed it. Seems like most folks did. Decent racing, not the greatest finish you'll ever see, but that's a bit nitpicky. 

But, we have to start with the Busch boys from Saturday night. Might as well just roll tape first, and then break it down like the OJ chase. 

Rolllll it!

So, yes – it ain't great. Not Samuel's finest moment. I'm sure now that he's had a few days to sleep on it, he'll probably admit as much. 

But he's also right. There, I said it. What he said after the race? He's right. Doesn't mean it's OK – the Xfinity guys just knocking the shit out of each other each week, I mean – but it also doesn't mean that Sammy's wrong in saying it. 

And by the way, if I got flipped off by some scumbag a few minutes prior, I can assure you his ass would be in the fence, too. Earnhardt would agree with me – although, to be fair, he was the one doing the flipping most of the time. And, come to think of it, the one putting people in the fence! 

God, that dude was the best. 

Anyway, the #OutrageMachine was working OVERTIME after Sammy's big move. I've never seen anything like it:

Sammy didn't reinvent the wheel here

I mean, goodness gracious. Again, I've never seen anything like it. Maybe I'm a bit jaded because I loved the #content, and I will always choose good TV over "good" racing. That was good TV. It was. Don't tell me it wasn't. 

Was it a good move? No! Of course not. Come on. I'm a dummy, but not that big of a dummy. I know it was a bullshit move. It was a blatant wreck, and Sammy should be suspended for at least one race by NASCAR. They've set that precedent in the past, and it should absolutely hold up here. 

But, to all the folks on the internet – and on the TV (Mike!) – bitching and moaning about Sammy, and acting like he just murdered Taylor Gray's cat in cold blood … calm down. Spare me. Let's stop acting like Sammy Smith was the first person to dump someone at a short track. 

I was only 6 at the time, but I'm pretty sure someone named Earnhardt made that move pretty damn famous at a place called Bristol back in '99:

The famous ‘rattle his cage’ race from Dale. God, he hated to see poor Terry finish a race in one piece, huh? Guy just made a living out of wrecking Labonte at Bristol. Hilarious. 

Anyway, I know that was a long time ago. A different era, a different track. You're right. Let's get a little more current:

That was yesterday's winner, by the way. He was universally HATED after that move. Guess what? He was cheered by just about everyone yesterday. 

We all forgive. We all forget. At the end, nobody really gives a shit. People get dumped at short tracks. That's how these places work. 

Now, are the aggressors quite as … obvious … with it as Sammy was Saturday night? No. Not usually. A bit of discretion would've worked wonders here. 

But the OUTRAGE from the NASCAR community that followed? Come on. Nonsense. Y'all have seen it 100 times before, and you're gonna see it again. I promise. 

What the hell else do you expect when you put a bunch of pissed-off teenagers on a short track, jam them together with two laps to go, and wave the green flag? 

Frankly, I'd be surprised had Sammy NOT dumped Taylor Gray. 

Agree? Disagree? Think I'm an IDIOT? Lemme know! Zach.Dean@OutKick.com. 

The CW, Denny, Joey & Ross!

Whew. That's nearly 900 words on the Xfinity Series. Didn't see that one coming on the final Monday of March, but that's why I always have to have my head on a swivel in this job. 

You never know what you're gonna get when that alarm goes off Monday mornin'. 

And by the way – if you missed all that action from Saturday because you A) don't have the CW, B) can't find the CW, or C) don't feel like buying an antenna to GET the CW (don't blame you) … here is the handy-dandy CW channel locator link:

https://www.cwtv.com/channel-finder/

It was brought to my attention (y'all can figure this one out) that, in all my shitting on the CW, that I never provided an alternate solution. That's a fair point. Fair is fair, and I have to be fair. My bad. There it is. 

PS: I don't hate the CW. I hate that the CW has screwed over Grammy and Grampy, who have been watching for 50 years. Big difference. 

OK, let's quickly get to the Cup race. 

Denny won and held up a flag that I'm not really sure hit's quite the same when everyone in attendance is cheering for you while you're holding it:

Yeah, doesn't really work. Everyone pretty much likes Denny now. Sort of like Kyle Busch. Both were hated. Now, both are pretty much accepted. 

Next? Joey vs. Ross!

Eh. Don't see much there. And Joey Logano calling someone else a jackass for throwing an overly-aggressive block is hilarious. Joey … come on. You've done far worse than THAT. Let's not be silly. 

Next? Ever been so hellbent on finishing something (other than maybe sex?) that you're willing to grill your own feet in the process?

Yep. I'm good on that one! My ass would've been outta the car so fast, heads would've spun. 

OK, we're really up against it now. Nearly 1200 words! God, if you've made it this far, you are a real one. Good for you. Respect the hell out of it. 

Here's some porn as a reward!

Take us home, Hooters Gianna!

My God. It's perfect. Whatever Carson spent on that beauty … it wasn't enough. Not nearly enough. The Libs must just faint when they see that thing coming down the street. 

Although it's not a Tesla, so perhaps they're fake outrage over gas-guzzlers like that is over? Who knows? 

See? Fake outrage! The Libs do it. Y'all want to be compared to the LIBS?! Didn't think so. Leave Sammy alone!

OK, that's it for today. Weird Xfinity class, but it's also March 31, so what the hell else do you expect me to talk about? We are GRINDING right now. 

Giddy-up, Gianna. See you in Darlington.