Death Rocks NASCAR, Driver Confirms Sport Is Fixed, Dale Jr. Shows The Libs How To Drink & Racer's Racy Wife
Well, it's over. Donezo. Kaput. Finished.
Just like that, the 2024 automobile season is a thing of the past, and NASCAR fans – young and old! – are all in agreement this morning: Joey Logano is a worthy champion and this playoff system WORKS.
They all love it! Much like a certain president-elect, the people have spoken, and they all want Joey Logano crowned a champion for a third time. A mandate, some would say.
Wait, what? You guys don't love it? You're all pissy today because you think the worst playoff driver in the history of NASCAR won a championship, and you want the current playoff format to burn to the ground?
Well, I'll be damned. Didn't see it coming. Race fans are usually so calm, cool and collected. Weird. We'll get into it, I reckon.
What else should we discuss during our final in-season water-cooler talk of the year? How about Christopher Bell dropping his nuts on the table and telling his bosses to politely go f--k themselves? That sound like something we should delve into? Good, because we are!
I've also got Sam Busch ending the season on a high note, McCall Gaulding dropping some last-minute Halloween content that'll have you ready to run through a brick wall (whatever that means), Bobby Allison passing away and ruining the weekend, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. showing all the Libs how to properly drink beer after winning an Xfinity (Busch) championship on Saturday.
OK, that's a good start. I like where we're at this morning, and LOVE where we're going.
Four tires, one final drop of Sunoco racing fuel before we put her in the garage for the winter, and maybe a tiny violin for all the Joey Logano haters this morning … Monday Morning Pit-Stop – the ‘Only 97 Days Until The Daytona 500’ is LIVE!
Everyone loves Joey Logano!
Let's start with our newest Cup champ – Joseph T. Logano. That's Thomas, by the way.
Look, I know everyone is throwing a tantrum this morning because Logano won. It's not really so much that Joey Logano won, it's that this current version of Logano won.
And by that, I mean someone who probably should've been knocked out of the postseason months ago. Hell, some would argue he shouldn't have been there in the first place:
Whoooooooooooooooof. I mean, it's damning when you see the stats, right? Makes you rethink some things? Look in the mirror? Reassess everything?
Wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong.
We zig, they zag, folks. Don't you forget it! Or is that my Nightcaps saying? Honestly, I can't keep up anymore. I assume there's plenty of crossover between the two classes, so you get it either way.
And if you don't, come join us in Nightcaps class today at 4! You'll love it. Trump voters only. (Just kidding, we're inclusive, unlike the Dems!).
Where was I? Oh yeah, NASCAR fans freaking out because Joey Logano won a championship. Get over it. We don't need to change the playoff format just because Joey Logano won and Kyle Larson didn't even get a chance to win. We don't.
But Zach, the old format was better!
Was it? Do you realize that Matt Kenseth won the 2003 NASCAR title and only won one single race? Joey Logano won four this year, including the most important one.
Benny Parsons, for those who really wanna take a deep-dive this morning, won the 1973 championship with only one win on his resume, too.
The format is fine, you fearmongers!
(Bet you didn't have a 1973 YouTube clip on your MMPS Bingo cards today, did you!?)
So no, crybabies – Joey Logano winning FOUR races this season, including the last one, does not disqualify him from winning a freaking title. That's silly talk, and it needs to end. It will NOT be tolerated in this class.
The format is fine. We got the drama we wanted, especially last week. That's all we ask for. Sorry, Kyle Larson. You wanna run for a title, win at Martinsville.
You want to make your regular season title mean something, Tyler Reddick? Win yesterday.
I'm so tired of the constant belly-aching over this playoff system. It's exhausting. Guess what? Joey Logano wasn't the first underdog to win in sports. It literally happens all the time.
The New York Football Giants famously did it in 2007. You wanna know who won the 2015 World Series? The Kansas City Royals, with a budget of $30.
Golfers you've never heard of have won at Augusta, college basketball teams who almost sound made up make it to late-March all the time, and TV stars end up winning the presidency against a VERY NASTY LADY!
That last one isn't really sports, but whatever. You get my point.
Joey ain't exactly reinventing the wheel here. Let's relax.
You know who also didn't run for a championship? Christopher Bell
Whew. What a rant! What a way to start a new week. I'm ready to smash some skulls today, so everyone act right!
PS: also, chime in! Agree? Disagree? Hate my guts? Lemme know. Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.
And if you think we don't have fun in the mailroom, think again! Look at this optimistic message from Pistol Pete last week:
Zach,
As a former NASCAR fan, i'm curious about the empty seats at NASCAR races. Do you think NASCAR will, still, exist 15 years from now? That is if NASCAR keeps shooting itself in the foot. I hate that wokeness ( i hate that word) has infiltrated all pro sports.
Thanks, Pete! Lord knows I hope so, for my sake. I will get to some … concerning … stats here in a bit, though. Hang in there.
Before we undress the sport, let's check in with soon-to-be-fined Christopher Bell!
Dale Jr. puts the Libs to bed, some concerning losses, a HUGE loss & the NASCAR WAGs take us home
Tell us how you really feel, Chris! Goodness. What a takedown.
Clearly, that was the mandate given at the Monday morning JGR meeting last week: blast NASCAR and blast Chevrolet as much as possible. And he did.
Now, he's full of shit, but at least he's candid. Oh no, Chevy helped one of their own cars get into the championship race, boo-hoo, wah-wah-wahhhhh! Cry more, Toyota. Calling it "race manipulation" is a load of crap, too.
They held up traffic. So what? You don't like it? MOVE THEM OUT OF THE WAY! I don't understand it. You think Dale Earnhardt would've just accepted that roadblock and rode around with his head up his ass for 15 laps until the checkered? No! He would've punted them into next week.
Don't like it, move 'em. Stop bitching.
Whew. ANOTHER rant! What a way to end the season. Going down swinging, boys and girls.
OK, couple quickies as we head into the offseason. First? Let's start it on a … concerning note:
Yeah, not great! Feel like FedEx was the last of a great generation. Frankly, I'm shocked they lasted this long. Gone are the days of one sponsor being on the hood for 36 races. They are over, and I'm not sure we'll ever get back to them. Concerning, but not surprising.
What's left? NAPA for Chase Elliott? The always hilarious HendrickCars.com sponsor for Kyle Larson? Bubba has McDonald's for a decent amount of races I think? Regardless, it's bleak. Let's get these tariffs going so we can Make NASCAR Great Again!
Now, for some good news … Dale Jr. is still a man amongst boys when it comes to slamming beers:
The Busch Latte/Bud Heavy combo is an elite little 1-2 punch here from Junior. Guy may have just turned 50, but he can still outdrink every single one of us. Maybe not every night, but after winning a Busch Series title? Absolutely.
Raise hell!
Next? OK, back to some sad news …
Sad. Bobby Allison dying on the eve of NASCAR's championship was certainly a damper on the weekend, but I reckon it's not all that shocking given he was a billion.
Guy was a fireball right up until the end, though. He may not have been cracking skulls like he did back in the 70s, but he still had his fastball.
Rest in Peace to a NASCAR giant. A dying breed.
Finally, let's check in with the WAGs as we head into the offseason. Sam Busch AND McCall Gaulding?? What a way to start a big winter.
Take us there, Larry Mac!