Set Those DVRs: There's A Chiefs Hallmark Movie On The Way; And Pitches For Other NFL/Hallmark Winners
Thanks to a second-straight Super Bowl title and the highly publicized romance between a certain popstar and a certain tight end, the Kansas City Chiefs are hot right now.
So, Kansas City-based Hallmark — purveyors of greeting cards and movies your mom watches non-stop from late October through the holidays — isn't missing out.
The company announced that it is teaming up with the NFL and Skydance Sports for a new movie called Holiday Touchdown: A Chiefs Love Story, a title that sounds like it was generated by AI using the prompt, "Give me a title for Hallmark movie involving the Kansas City Chiefs."
The flick will star two actors I've never heard of — Tyler Hynes and Hunter King — as well as one I have: Ed Begley Jr.
Yes, Spinal Tap drummer John "Stumpy" Pepys himself (he has other credits too, including a good Simpsons guest spot, but his Spinal Tap appearance is my favorite) will be in it.
According to a press release, the movie will be about some Chiefs fans vying to be named "Fan of the Year" and because this is Hallmark, they fall in love (if it were Lifetime someone would get murdered or pregnant; maybe both).
Super fan competition, you say? It's a shame Chiefsaholic will likely be in the clink. Maybe they can get him to call in for a little voice cameo via prison payphone.
Speaking of cameos, the movie will be shot in Kansas City and since the NFL is in on it, I think we can expect to see a laundry list of cameos. I mean, Andy Reid has to be in it — Hawaiian shirt and all — right? He has enough commercial acting under his belt that I think he could hold his own in a Hallmark movie.
I'm not a Hallmark movie guy, but I might need to watch this in the name of science and/or journalism. That, or I'll just tell people I was in the room while my girlfriend was watching it.
Could other Hallmark and NFL joint-productions be on the horizon after this Chiefs one? Probably not, but indulge me for a second... (Photo by Ryan Kang/Getty Images)
Could There Be More NFL Hallmark Movies In The Future? If So, Here Are Some Very Good Pitches
Who knows? This could be the start of a series of NFL/Hallmark movies.
If that's the case, I would like to pitch the following ideas:
- Broken Tables, Healed Hearts: A Bills Love Story: Two die-hard Bills fans fall in love when a piece of the table one jumps through at a tailgate fortuitously embeds itself in the other's forehead. Once they're all healed up, they enter a relationship that, unlike everything else involving the Bills, ends without heartbreak.
- A Disappointment For Christmas: A Jets Love Story: A couple of Jets fans meet while watching Aaron Rodgers' Jets debut. They console each other over the loss of their star QB and the entire season, but this movie ends in disappointment like all Jets stories. In this case, it ends with them breaking up because the chick is a little clingy.
- Cradle Robbin' Christmas: A Bill Belichick Love Story: Ripped from the headlines. A 72-year-old 6-time Super Bowl champion head coach starts dating a 24-year-old cheerleader he met on a plane. Everyone around them acts disgusted by their relationship, but in reality, they're kind of impressed.
- A Cougar (Not The BYU Kind) For Christmas: A Zach Wilson Love Story: Self Explanatory.
- From Dusk Till Jawn: Santa's Revenge: An Eagles Love Story: Lots of colons in that title, but I think the title works beautifully. Think of this as if Quentin Tarantino was given the keys to a Hallmark movie. It would follow Santa as he gets revenge for that time Eagles fans throw snowballs and batteries at him. Lots of blood, a great soundtrack, Sam Jackson swearing like a sailor being fed feet first into a woodchipper, and then we'd shoehorn a love story in there because, well, it's Hallmark.
I mean, are those all Oscar-worthy? No (Actually, the Santa one might be).
Could they work as made-for-TV movies on deep cable? 100 percent!