Chase Elliott Has Hooters Girls Humming, Bubba Wallace Egg On Face & NASCAR's Adult Content Racer Hits Pool
Y'all hear that? Shush up, and listen real close. Sounds familiar, doesn't it? Is that … ringing? Wait, it can't be!? It must be a mistake.
The NASCAR script-writers finally listened? For once?
Sound the siren, baby! Chase Elliott is back in Victory Lane for the first time since gas prices … well, they were still pretty high in Oct. 2022 (thanks, Joe!), but you know what I mean.
Frankly, Clyde's first win in 42 races couldn't have come at a better time for NASCAR. I mean it. For starters, all that early season momentum they had from Daytona and then Atlanta? Gone. Donezo. Poof.
Martinsville stunk. Richmond stunk. Phoenix stunk. COTA was pretty awful. A bad little losing streak for the fellas in the marketing building over across from Daytona.
On top of that, you also had that pesky little golf tournament ending yesterday, with the leaders going off right around the same time the green dropped in Fort Worth.
Not great!
But then … Texas actually delivered. Decent racing, good drama, TWO overtime finishes and the sport's Most Popular Driver winning for the first time since the economy was actually respectable.
No. Wait. It sucked in Oct. 2022, too. Damnit, Joe! What the hell have you been doing these past two years? At least Middle East tensions are low, so that's good. Just kidding!
Last one, I promise.
(Remember this MMPS when you head to your local elementary school to vote in a few months, PLEASE).
Anyway, we're gonna talk about Chase Elliott getting his nuts back and actually winning a NASCAR Cup Series race. We'll also check in with Bubba Wallace (duh), Natalie Decker (double duh), McCall Gaulding (triple duh!) and … Richard Petty!
What a loaded damn potato to start this middle week in the month of April. Can't wait.
Four tires, some SPF 30 for Natalie and just enough fuel for Chase – so he can complete the Polish victory lap in that beautiful Hooters Chevy …
Monday Morning Pit-Stop – the ‘Hey, The Siren Still Works!’ edition – is LIVE!
Chase Elliott jumps right back into our angry NASCAR hearts with this Alan Kulwicki respect
I mean, we're obviously starting with Chase today. Come on. Guy hasn't won in 42 races – who the hell knows the next time we'll have this chance.
Feel like Clyde's sort of right on track in his development, by the way. And by that, I mean he's on the Dale Jr. plan – has been for a while.
- grew up at the track
- famous daddy
- instantly the sport's most popular driver, but it's because of your last name
- finally wins first race, establishes self, wins a bunch more, wins title (in Junior's case, it was a couple 500s, but you get it)
- get complacent, get dumb because you're young and single and rich
- struggle like hell because you're complacent, dumb, young, single and rich
- hit rock bottom (missing playoffs, getting suspended, becoming the worst freaking driver in your organization)
- work way back up – slowly – and start putting together some respectable finishes
- finally, out of nowhere, put it all together for the first time in two years, actually win, and realize it's probably time to grow up*
* you are HERE on the map.
So, yeah – that was a long-winded way of saying Chase Elliott winning at Texas yesterday was big not only for NASCAR, but for Chase Elliott.
And if I sound like someone who's heard some things that I can't talk about, you are correct! Chase needed a wake-up call, and he got it last year.
Looks like he's back, and it came at the perfect time. And if you ever find yourself wondering why he's the sport's MPD, it's pretty easy to see when he does stuff like this:
Bubba Wallace gets squirrely, Ross Chastain gets wrecked, Denny gets loose
That's an insane stat, by the way. I know Hooters left NASCAR for a while until Chase brought the girls back, but still – wild.
Fine. Think I'm wrong about the Elliott-Junior connection/comparison? Yell at me (or tell me how awesome MMPS is) at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.
(Also, I'm sure everyone noticed the picture setup is a little different today. I'm trying to see if that works better for the Algo. Don't panic.)
And you wanna hear (see) another wild stat? How about Clyde putting the Owl back in Victory Lane the DAY before Lynne Austin – the original Hooters Girl – turned 63?
Come on. This is why NASCAR is beautiful, folks.
Happy 63rd, Lynne! Everyone enjoy your BOGO 10 Hooters wings today! Let's go!!!!
That's actually a deal, by the way. I know it's been a billion years since Chase won, but you do get BOGO wings today at your local Hooters. Go getcha some!
OK, back to Texas … Bubba Wallace complained about drivers wrecking and then caused the wreck, which was funny, Ross Chastain is gonna punt William Byron to the moon next week, and Denny Hamlin (rightfully) said ‘no hard feelins’ to Chase after their little dust-up:
Before we end the week with NASCAR WAGs, let's get to NASCAR royalty
No clue where Ross Chastain stands after that, but Billy the Kid didn't do anything wrong. I would hope Ross sees it that way.
Actually, no I don't! I want Ross the Boss to wreck Billy right back next week like we all know he can! Put those watermelon farming nuts on the table at 'Dega, Ross, and show William who the hell is BOSS.
Also – sorry, Bubba. I had to do it. Fair is fair.
Speaking of the boss man, how about this little story from Richard Petty to Dale Jr. about Dale's daddy? Epic:
Natalie Decker, Hooters Gianna & McCall Gaulding take us into a big week
Incredible. If only someone got up early on this Monday and found that footage for you. Damn. Oh well, maybe one day!
Just kidding. Good stuff starts around 7:30. The whole thing is mesmerizing, though:
We used to be such a great country. God, bring us back!
Although, if we did go back, we'd miss out on NASCAR's adult content star, Natalie Decker, getting ready for summer, and that would be a damn shame.
It's gonna be in the 90s in Florida this week, Nat. Come on down! We're already in summer mode down here!
OK, that's enough for today. It would only be right for McCall Gaulding and Hooters Gianna to take us into a big week.
Welcome back to Victory Lane, Owl!
Off to 'Dega.