Cardinals' Head Coach Jonathan Gannon Gives One Of The Worst Motivational Speeches In The History Of The Spoken Word
Jonathan Gannon is entering his first season as a head coach in the NFL and taking over an Arizona Cardinals team that not only went 4-13 a year ago, but a team with an overpaid quarterback who'd rather play video games with random teenagers than watch film.
With Gannon undoubtedly having one of the toughest coaching jobs in all of the NFL, one of the challenges he and his staff may have this season is to keep players motivated from Week 1 to Week 17.
Based on a recent speech he gave that just so happened to be caught on video, it's safe to say that Cardinals players will have to find motivation from other sources.
It's hard to imagine a man who has been coaching at the NFL level since 2007 could deliver such an awkward speech, but Gannon managed to do so.
Here's the speech fully transcribed, which makes it that much worse.
"Welcome back."
"Who drove over here? Quick, let me see your hands."
"Who took the bus?"
"Did you have a fire in your gut? Did you?"
"We're here for a reason. Don't get that twisted."
"Ok? We're here for a reason to win games."
"So if you didn't have that fire in your guy, you better light the fire pretty fast."
"Be who you are, just understand I'm looking for fu--ing killers."
In case you didn't pick up on the earth-shattering plan for Gannon and the Cardinals this season, their main goal this season is to win football games. They're hoping to outscore the opponent they play each week.
He tried to save the 30 seconds of pure cringe by throwing an f-bomb into the equation, but I'm not sure anyone in the room caught it because they were still confused about him asking if any of them took a bus to the facility.
Mr. Gannon, you're standing in a room of guys who are mostly making millions of dollars this season. Budda Baker, arguably your team's best player and the one who looked like he was about to pass out asleep, is making north of $13 million this season.
The Cardinals open up their season on the road against the Washington Commanders on Sept. 10. Here's to hoping a camera crew is inside the Arizona locker room for the pre-game speech.
Follow Mark Harris on X @ItIsMarkHarris