Alex Rodriguez Lives Out My Dream By Getting The Fastest Seat In Sports To Kickoff IndyCar Season

I'm a simple man with simple desires. 

You know that meme where the guy and the lady are in bed and they're rolled over on their sides with their backs facing each other and the lady is thinking, "He's probably thinking about other women…"

Well, you want to know what I'd be thinking about? Getting to ride in that two-seater IndyCar dubbed the Fastest Seat in Sports.

Well, always the bridesmaid, never the bride on this front, I've been passed over yet again with news that Fox Sports MLB analyst Alex Rodriguez will be getting the backseat for a trip around the St. Petersburg streets instead of me.

Which, I will be honest, makes a lot of sense because he's a legendary, 14-time All-Star and World Series champ and I'm just some guy.

A very handsome guy, but still.

A-Rod is, of course, an analyst on Fox Sports, which makes him a perfect choice (I mean, if you take me out of the running) to hop in the two-seater because this weekend's Grand Prix of St. Petersburg will be the IndyCar race broadcast by Fox Sports.

All 17 races this season will appear on Fox — making IndyCar one of the only sports leagues or series with every event on network TV — and that includes the biggest one of them all and the series' crown jewel, the Indianapolis 500 this May.

According to IndyCar, Rodriguez adds his name to a list of folks who took rides in the two-seater last season like musicians Diplo, Jon Bon Jovi, and Riley Green, actors Judge Reinhold and Dylan Sprouse, and Olympic gold media rock climber Sam Watson.

Congratulations to A-Rod on being bestowed this incredible honor.

But if IndyCar needs anyone to step in and take A-Rod's place in the unlikely event that he eats a bad Spicy Tuna roll or something before the big day, I'm available.