Horny Aaron Hernandez Allegedly Pleasured Himself During Patriots Team Meetings

There’s a reason Aaron Hernandez was on the hands team. The former Patriots tight end-turned-convicted murderer apparently had a knack for getting handsy – with himself – inside the Patriots’ team meetings.

Rob Gronkowski, who was unfortunate enough to share a position room with Hernandez, insinuated as much during an appearance on Bussin’ With The Boys earlier this week.

Bussin’ co-host Taylor Lewan mentioned to Gronk that he heard rumors that Hernandez would take Spider 2Y Banana into his own hands during the team’s meetings.

"I’m not gonna confirm nor deny," a laughing Gronkowski quickly shared. "I love crazy shit though. I didn’t mind things like that."

Hey, who knows, maybe avocado ice cream-fueled Tom Brady is even better looking in person?

"I was like wow, that’s pretty epic," Gronk added. "I was a wild man myself, so nothing phased me."

So that’s what they mean by The Patriot Way.

FOXBOROUGH, Mass. -  New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski (#87) and New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez (#81) on the sidelines during the second quarter of a preseason exhibition game against the New Orleans Saints at Gillette Stadium. (Photo by Barry Chin/The Boston Globe via Getty Images)

Aaron Hernandez Spent His Entire NFL Career With New England

And what is it with tight ends waxing their carrot in public spaces? First you had Kellen Winslow Jr. bringing his own meat to a Boston Market (underrated cornbread and cinnamon apples offered as sides, by the way). Then you’ve got Aaron Hernandez pounding his own Pat the Patriot inside of New England’s practice facility. 

Please tell me this isn’t a requirement for the position. I can’t bear the thought of Antonio Gates choking his chicken while Cam Cameron was trying to get the Chargers' offense up to speed.  

Don’t even joke about the possibility of Jason Witten going one-man-band in Dallas. 

Or Shannon Sharpe…wait, nevermind on that last one.

Did Bruschi know about this?

How about Rodney Harrison? No way he’s knowingly walking through a New England locker room that doubles as Aaron Hernandez's private viewing booth.

Mike Vrabel played some tight end during his AFC East days. Did Vrabes know Hernandez was hammering away at more than his playbook?

And Belichick was an innovator during his Patriots days, but who knew that his diagramming of plays could elicit such excitement?

Regardless, it’s now easier to see why Hernandez and the Patriots were such stiff competition.

Follow along on X @OhioAF or email me: anthony.farris@outkick.com