I'm Not Buying This Sexual Output Story About Soccer Star Mauro Icardi & His Wife

There are stories to generate clicks and podcast downloads, and then there's the tale being told by former Italian soccer player Daniele Adani, who's throwing out wild stories of incredible sexual output from Argentinian soccer star Mauro Icardi of Paris Saint-Germain.

Adani went on Christian Vieri's Twitch channel, and the conversation turned to soccer players and their lives away from the pitch. According to U.K. tabloids, that's when Adani and Vieri turned to the reported prowess of Icardi and the rumor that Icardi & his wife, Wanda, have sex up to 12 TIMES A DAY.

Let me repeat that...the rumor is the 28-year-old superstar striker and his wife get it on 12 TIMES A DAY! And this is coming from two fellow former soccer players who know this world of which they speak. Of course, it has to be true, right?

Nonsense! I'm not buying it for a second that Mauro and Wanda are banging 12 times a day. THE COUPLE HAS KIDS. IT'S ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE.

According to those who've translated the conversation, Adani is pretty much saying that Icardi's hectic sex life is rough on the athlete and that the Paris Saint-Germain then needs time to recover, which is bad for the team.

Look, is it likely a 28-year-old international soccer star is having sex in spades? That wouldn't be a shocker at all. Good for all the 28-year-olds crushing the sex game. Work, sex and playing video games should be high on their priority lists. However, Icardi and his wife have two kids, which makes this kind of output completely unbelievable. We're talking two kids under 7.

Now I get it. Wanda is a stay-at-home mom who probably has cleaning crews, nannies and support staff to make sure the home is maintained, but the math still doesn't add up here. Those kids still get up at 6, raise hell, want breakfast, need to get ready for school, want to know why their tablets aren't charged up, need lunch, want to go to the park, dinner, snacks, etc.

And when does Mauro just hang out and listen to Pandora, maybe suck down a couple of seltzers and just daydream a little bit? At 12 times a day, the guy doesn't even have time to mow the grass, crack a cold one and chat with the neighborhood dads.

Conclusion: There is no way in hell Mauro Icardi is having sex 12 times a day. Three times a week -- MAX -- and that's being incredibly generous.