Ezekiel Elliott Shares Thanksgiving Cowboys Helmet And It's Hideous
I might get some negative attention for this, but I don't care. Ezekiel Elliott took to Instagram to share the throwback helmets that the Dallas Cowboys will be wearing on Thanksgiving Day against the New York Giants. The helmet is absolutely hideous.
Before we get to the helmet, let's talk about Zeke for a moment. He's not having a very good season. Now, some will point out that he's rushed for over 400 yards and four touchdowns in seven games, which on its face isn't terrible. He's averaging 4.1 yards per carry, also not horrible.
But ask any Cowboys fan and they will tell you that Tony Pollard is an objectively better player. And because Ezekiel Elliott signed a massive contract, he counts over $18 million toward the salary cap. For that kind of money, he shouldn't be getting outplayed by a former fourth-round pick out of Memphis.
But that's exactly what has happened. Pollard has over 500 yards rushing on 27 fewer carries. He averages over 6 yards per tote. He's scored five touchdowns. He has twice as many catches as Elliott and nearly four times as many receiving yards.
Ezekiel Elliott missed Week 8 with an injury and Pollard proceeded to go off for 131 yards and three touchdowns on just 14 rushes.
Ezekiel Elliott's Performance is the Second-Worst Part of his Season
I say all of that to lay out just how much I hate the Thanksgiving helmet. Despite Zeke being an anchor on the team's salary cap while producing far less than his backup -- who is also younger and far cheaper, by the way -- it's still not the worst thing about him.
He took to Instagram to share the helmet the team will don for the team's Turkey Day showdown with the Giants. Traditionally, the Cowboys wear some kind of throwback uniform. And, admittedly, they're usually pretty sweet. But this I can't deal with.
Ezekiel Elliott posts his Thanksgiving Day Dallas Cowboys helmet (Instagram/@EzekielElliott)
I'm sure many of you are thinking, "C'mon, Dan, it's not that bad." Some of you sociopaths might even like it. For those in the latter group, please send me your address ASAP. We need to get you on an FBI watch list.
Here's the problem:
YOU CAN'T TAKE A TRADITIONAL, THROWBACK LOGO AND SLAP IT ON A FUTURISTIC SPACE-LOOKING FOOTBALL HELMET.
Literally, Zeke's helmet looks like something that should be work on Elon Musk's next Space-X flight. This is a 1960 Dallas Cowboys logo. Even in the '60s, space helmets didn't look like this!
Throwback uniforms and helmets are cool. But I want them to go all out. All of it needs to match the theme. Dak Prescott should be on the field with the single-bar facemask, à la Don Meredith.
Don Meredith wearing the traditional 1960s Dallas Cowboys helmet, not the lame version that Ezekiel Elliott is planning to "don." See what I did there?
If you're going for the throwback look, I'm all-in. But don't combine your crazy space helmet and sully the good name of 1960s NFL players. They were true warriors. Shame on you, Zeke.