Jim Harbaugh Gives Inapplicable Coach Speak Statement After Michigan Issues Three-Game Suspension For Hamburger Lies

Michigan's Jim Harbaugh will not coach the first three games of the 2023 college football season. He will serve a university-imposed suspension to begin the year.

As a result, Harbaugh will miss home games against East Carolina, UNLV and Bowling Green. Whoop de doo.

The suspension stems from a situation in which the 59-year-old is said to have lied to the NCAA about an impromptu illegal recruiting visit that was held during the COVID-19 dead period. He bought a few recruits some hamburgers, which is not allowed at any time.

For it to take place during the dead period only made it worse. As did the lies.

The Wolverines face multiple Level II violations. Harbaugh faces a Level I violation for his lack of cooperation.

Initially, the NCAA and Michigan had reportedly agreed to a four-game suspension that would have been served this fall. However, that sentencing was delayed and the conversation shifted focus to next fall. The punt really threw a wrench in things.

To get out in front of the upcoming discussions, Michigan went ahead and did its own thing. It decided to sit Harbaugh against three pretty harmless opponents with hopes that the suspension can be applied retroactively down the road.

Either way, the Wolverines will not have their head coach on the sideline to begin the year.

Jim Harbaugh isn't bitter.

In response to the matter, Harbaugh issued a statement that was not particularly applicable.

I will continue to do what I always do and what I always tell our players and my kids at home: 'Don't get bitter, get better.'

First of all, the "don't get bitter" quote is not his own. An exact origin is unclear, but Tiger Woods made it most famous.

Second of all, there isn't much "getting better" to be had here. The only way to improve upon the current violations is by:

Perhaps that is what Harbaugh means here. Moving forward, he is going to do things entirely by the book.

If not, his statement doesn't add up in the grand context of the current ongoings. Classic coach speak!