NASCAR Star Gives Awesome Pre-Race Prayer, Hamlin Calls Out 'Piece Of Sh*t Human,' Hooters Gianna Will Race For A Title & Driver Killed In Daytona
Ryan Blaney is in the damn show, which, for us, means Hooters Gianna Tulio is officially a NASCAR championship contending WAG.
It's been a long, grinding road for our queen, but she's in the dance and now anything can happen. What a time to be alive!
Welcome to the penultimate Monday of the 2023 NASCAR season. Hard to believe, but we're just six days away from crowning a champion. Seems like just yesterday we were down in Daytona slugging $20 Busch Lights together, and now here we are -- the final week of the season.
By now, you know the final four: Angry Ryan Blaney, Kyle Larson, Christopher Bell and William Byron.
So, yeah ... it's certainly a different cast of characters than we're used to. No Chase Elliott, Denny Hamlin, Martin Truex Jr., Joey Logano or Kyle Busch. Those are your four finalists heading to Phoenix, and we're obviously very much team RB around here.
Plenty of time for some title talk here in a bit, but we have other pressing matters to attend to.
We had some damn D.R.A.M.A. down in the Xfinity Series Saturday night. Goodness gracious. Now, did it look like a couple nerdy high schoolers yelling at each other? You bet. But still, I'm here for it.
Richard Childress -- yes, that Richard Childress -- also called his own driver a piece of sh*t and basically threw him under the biggest bus you've ever seen. Welcome to MMPS, Richard!
What else? Hooters Gianna, obviously. Denny Hamlin calling Joey Logano the worst human on the planet? Duh.
Oh yeah, I'd also like to give a huge shoutout to Brad Keselowski. He gave the invocation before Saturday's race and it was awesome. NASCAR has gone pretty woke at this point, but at least they still have pre-race prayers -- for now. Brad K knocked it out of the park and it deserves some shine.
OK, let's race. Four tires, enough fuel to get us all the way to Phoenix, and maybe some couples counseling for the entire RCR team ... Monday Morning Pit-Stop -- the 'You're Fired!' edition -- is LIVE!
NASCAR driver Brad Keselowski prays for Maine and Israel before race
I told you it deserved some shine, so we're gonna START with Brad Keselowski today. How about that?!
The 2012 Cup champ grabbed the mic before Saturday's race and gave the invocation for the first time. Frankly, I don't remember any driver ever doing that, but maybe I'm just stupid and forgetting someone?
Anyway, Brad's probably the most interesting -- and certainly smartest -- person in the NASCAR Cup garage, and he's also not afraid to speak his mind.
He was pretty outspoken on social media earlier this year about being pretty anti-Bud Light, which also makes sense because he used to driver the beautiful Miller Lite car before they jumped ship.
As for his pre-race prayer ...
Now, as for what happened after Brad's prayer ...
Awesome. I think I heard the word "pray" like eight times there. Am I the only one pleasantly surprised that NASCAR hasn't done something dumb like yank these from the telecast or the event altogether?
With as far left as they've gone -- along with pretty much every other sport in the world -- it's pretty stunning that they haven't preemptively shut these down yet.
Good for them. Please keep it that way. Feel like we could all use a little invocation every now and again. Doesn't hurt!
And, riiiiiiiiiight on cue, let's check in with Austin Hill and Sheldon Creed. Fellas, how was the racin'?!
Denny Hamlin aired his NASCAR grievances well before Festivus
Hilarious. Just two athletes letting it RIP after the race. Austin Hill? Unit. Sheldon Creed? UNIT. God I love NASCAR.
Look, I'm Team Sheldon all day. He needed to win and ran his teammate up the track at Martinsville the same way 100,000 drivers have done in the past.
It's how you pass there and it's usually how you win. Now, the little brake-check after he passed him seemed a bit dumb and probably cost him a chance to win and ultimately caused the massive wreck, but whatever.
He was going for the win and when you do that at Martinsville, that's what happens. He's going to Joe Gibbs Racing (allegedly) next season, so this will obviously be his final week at RCR. I'm sure the goodbye party will be LIT. Can't wait.
Denny Hamlin, one of those JGR drivers, will probably welcome Sheldon with open arms next season!
Hooters Gianna (and Ryan Blaney) are racing for a NASCAR title
For those wondering, no -- Denny Hamlin did NOT advance to Sunday's championship race and is still oh-fer (is that how you spell it?) when it comes to winning it all. He's our modern day Mark Martin, except even better, which is wild to say.
For the first time ever, Ryan Blaney -- angry Rhino! -- will run for a title this weekend. He's my pick, by the way.
William Byron's fallen off the past few weeks. Kyle Larson hasn't really had it this year. Christopher Bell will probably win the pole because he's won like 15 of them this season, but I don't know that he's got the nuts to pull it off.
So yeah, I'm rolling with Ryan Blaney. He's been consistent as hell all season, and I think he's got a belly full of momentum heading into the final Sunday.
He's also got the hottest WAG in the garage on his team, and that doesn't hurt. Hooters Gianna Tulio has been a MMPS staple since Day 1. Time to make her a champion, once and for all.
Let's ride.
Danica Patrick angers NASCAR fans, but she's right
How does Ryan Blaney NOT win this damn championship? Goodness gracious. Bring us home a winner, Rhino!
Finally, let's check in on Danica Patrick, who did an interview with Awful Announcing this week and basically ruffled some feathers by saying NASCAR drivers have no marketability.
That obviously angered some folks on the site formerly known as Twitter, but you know what? She's right. She's 100% right.
I've told you this all season, especially throughout these playoffs. I like William Byron. I promise I do. Nobody would know who he was if he walked down the street today and he's won SIX races this year.
Kyle Larson, who won the damn championship two years ago, is in the same boat. And good lord, forget Christopher Bell. There is just zero and I mean ZERO chance he's getting recognized in public.
That's three of your four playoff drivers. I'd say Blaney has a chance because he's been a couple commercials over the years, but outside of him, it's a disaster.
If you have seven minutes today, watch this from ex-driver Kenny Wallace. 'Herm' is spot on here, as usual. He says it all perfectly.
Driver dead in Daytona practice incident
Now, I hate to end on a bummer note, but this just came across today and since I literally live right down the road from the speedway I feel like I at least need to hit on it.
There was an Audi practice session at the track all weekend -- I know, because I heard if Friday and thought to myself, 'What the hell is going on?' -- and apparently one driver was killed and another was injured during Saturday's session.
From the speedway:
“We are saddened by the passing of a driver after they were transported to an area medical facility following an on-track incident during today’s Audi Club track rental session. Additionally, our thoughts are with the driver who was injured during the same incident. Daytona International Speedway will coordinate with both Audi Club and local authorities during their investigation into the cause of the accident.”
That's pretty much all we know now. I'll have an update if one comes in, although I wouldn't hold your breath.
And on that cheery note, let's head out to Phoenix and crown a damn NASCAR champion.