Hooters Gianna Loves Women, NASCAR Wife Shows How To Drink, Hamlin Hates Chastain, Byron Grows Up, Mike Joy Shreds Haters
Well, I reckon Hendrick Motorsports went ahead and gave William Byron the Chase Elliott package while NASCAR's Most Popular Driver is on the shelf?
I don't know. How else do you explain Billy the Kid all of a sudden running laps around the field like he's Lightning Freaking McQueen?
Fine. I guess Byron finally growing up and being the star driver he was billed to be coming up the ranks is one possible explanation. But I prefer to believe since Elliott is out the fellas over at HMS now really only have to focus on him and Kyle Larson - hence their pure domination over the past two weeks.
I'm sure that's not entirely the reason those two have led pretty much every lap since, but the timing is curious.
More on William Byron becoming a man in a bit.
Elsewhere, Ross Chastain and Denny Hamlin still hate each other, Queen Samantha Busch teaches us how to get tanked at the track, Ryan Blaney's Hooters girlfriend celebrates women, and everyone needs to quit bitching about the FOX commercials.
Seriously, it's annoying and needs to end. We get it.
Four tires, a full can of Sunoco fuel and the Chase Elliott package under the hood (not that one you animals) ...
Monday Morning Pit-Stop - the 'These Last Few Races Have Stunk But Late Cautions Have Saved Them' edition - is LIVE!
Ross Chastain and Denny Hamlin can't get away from each other. (Photo by Sean Gardner/Getty Images)
Ross Chastain and Denny Hamlin go at it in NASCAR overtime
Look, I'd start with Byron winning, but there's not really much else to say. He's won two in a row, he's running laps around the field, he's dating Ryan Blaney's sister ... what else can you ask for in life?
So, I'll instead start with NASCAR's hottest (kind of) rivalry: Ross Chastain and Denny Hamlin!
Ross the Boss wrecked everyone and their mother last year, but really had it in for Hamlin for whatever reason. And wouldn't you know who was nose-to-tail during Sunday's overtime?
And look at this view NASCAR gave us! More of this, please.
Wild two laps. Denny Hamlin legit HATES Ross Chastain, who really didn't do anything wrong here? I've watched the clip a dozen times, and it looks like Hamlin just slides up the track into Chastain.
I mean, where else does Denny want him to go? He's at the top of the track, Hamlin slides up and door's him, and then proceeds to knock the piss out of his bumper three more times!
All the hatred led to both finishing outside the top-20 after restarting up front, too. Hilarious. Just boys being boys!
William Byron wins on Erin Blaney's birthday
OK, back to Billy the Kid, who decided to win his second straight race for girlfriend Erin Blaney!
What a damn guy.
Blaney, the sister of Ryan Blaney (more on Rhino in a bit), turned 26 last week according to her Instagram, and these two have become quite the power couple over the past few months. They tore up Bubba Wallace's wedding, crushed the NASCAR banquet, and took center stage for a New Year's kiss.
Unreal.
Now, young Erin's a year older, and Byron is taking over the NASCAR world one dominant race at a time.
Personally, I'm rooting for William now more than ever, mainly because he's decided to wear a giant hat after every win.
Need more of that in this world.
William Byron loves a giant hat! (Photo by Meg Oliphant/Getty Images)
Samantha Busch gives us a NASCAR wine hack from the track
Look, I'd love to talk more about what happened on the track Sunday, but I'll be honest with ya'll ... it hasn't exactly been the most exciting few weeks.
But unlike the other boring columns out there, we don't just settle around here. Instead, we scour Instagram and look to NASCAR Queen Samantha Busch to get us through the day!
And, once again, she came through.
Cheers, Sam! Red wine, too. That's classy AF. Would expect nothing less.
Stop complaining about NASCAR commercials
Couple quick housekeeping items on our way to Atlanta.
First, can we please stop bitching and moaning about commercials during the race? We've done it for years now, and it's just so worn out. Like, we get it. You don't like commercials during the race. Fine. That's your right.
But what the hell do you want FOX to do? Seriously? And yes, I know I work for FOX, but the same can be said about NBC. Commercials are sort of the lifeblood of the TV game, and you need to keep the sponsors happy. Sorry, that's just how it goes.
And this ain't just the fans, either. The media is just as bad! So much complaining about showing commercials during a 7-hour race. God forbid Mike Joy takes a damn breath.
Good lord. Relax, Nick. Can we stop being so serious 24/7, 365? Mike Joy - great Emerson College grad, BTW! - deals with dummies all week who bitch and moan about commercials, so if he wants to take 10 seconds during the boring ass Phoenix race to push back, that's fine.
He's only been doing this for 40 years now. Feel like he's earned at least that.
"Isn't the pro way."
I hate us.
Take us home, Hooters Gianna Tulio
Now that I'm down off my soapbox, let's lighten the mood on the way out with Ryan Blaney's Hooters girlfriend, Gianna Tulio.
Blaney, by the way, finished second Sunday at Phoenix and almost backdoored his way to a win on the final restart. Good day for Rhino, who probably needs to start stacking up the wins this year before the noise starts to get a little loud in his ear.
That's for another day, though. This spot is reserved for Gianna, who celebrated International Women's Day last week by putting out a couple bangers.
Thanks, Gianna. That, boys and girls, is the "pro way."
Now let's go have a week!
Hooters Gianna Tulio loves women!