Chase Elliott Disaster Will Cost Jobs, Bubba Wallace Told To 'Shut The Hell Up,' NASCAR Rookie Plays Petty Card, Denny Hamlin Sucks & Hooters Gianna Goes Cowgirl Again
What a disaster Sunday was for Chase Elliott and for NASCAR. I'm just being honest. Like him or not, Chase not being in the playoffs is a gut-punch to the sport -- and, most importantly, the ratings.
And while the fat lady hasn't sung quite yet -- can we still say that in 2023? -- she's warming up the pipes and blowing on that little weird harmonica thing with one race left ...
Daytona!
Good thing that's an easy place to go when you need a win. Clean, predictable, totally normal race track that never lends itself to 20-car pileups or carnage at every turn. Go get 'em, Chase!
So, yeah -- I'm calling it now. Heads are about to roll at Hendrick Motorsports over yesterday's disaster if they haven't already. I hinted at Alan Gustafson being in trouble a few weeks ago in these very spaces, and, well ... it ain't looking any rosier as I sit here today.
Watkins Glen wasn't totally his fault, but we'll get to it. Just hold tight.
Let's see, what else do ya'll wanna talk about today? Beyond the Chase drama, yesterday's race was garbage. No drama, no real lead changes, no cautions or late restarts. It was terrible.
Bubba Wallace ran well and apparently now believes in himself, so I guess we can talk about that since I know everyone loves Bubba so much. Fans at the Glen hated Denny Hamlin so much so they literally made shirts about it, so we can also dive into that.
Ty Gibbs also decided to run the Xfinity race Saturday and promptly took a blowtorch to everyone down there, and then walked away and called them all losers. True story. Don't know who's side I'm on, so perhaps ya'll can help me.
I guess we'll spin the WAG wheel again today and see who it lands on. My guess is it'll be Hooters Gianna Tulio, but we'll see.
OK, enough stalling. We've got a pretty boring race to talk about!
Four tires and some food stamps for the soon-to-be-unemployed members of the No. 9 team ... Monday Morning Pit-Stop -- the 'NASCAR Definitely Didn't Want THAT' edition -- is LIVE!
Who's to blame in the Chase Elliott situation?
Might as well just address the NASCAR-sized elephant in the room ...
As I said, yesterday was an absolute disaster -- and, frankly, an embarrassment -- for Chase Elliott and the entire No. 9 team.
He was on a different strategy than everyone else because he gave us a piss poor qualifying effort, which was 100% his fault. He said as much in a profanity-laced tirade on the radio:
That's on Chase. One point for him!
Now, back to the strategy: he pitted earlier than everyone else to start the race, meaning he was pitting off-cycle the rest of the run. Alan Gustafson told him he had three laps of reserve fuel in the tank when he ran out, meaning when he was out of gas he would have to flip the reserve switch and have three laps to run.
Problem was, he flipped the switch and didn't even have close to three laps of reserve fuel left. The calculations were so laughably off that Chase ran out of gas in the middle of the track and had to be pushed back to pit road.
Game over -- season most likely over.
Alan -- you're up!
NASCAR needs Chase Elliott in the playoffs, despite what the haters believe
Whoooooooof. Spicy Alan Gustafson! That sounds like a man who knows he may be in trouble, and -- fair or not -- he probably should be. I'm not going to call for his job just yet, because I don't know who's truly at fault here.
Was he fed bad info? Did he do the calculations himself and just whiff? I don't know, but he's also the Crew Chief, which means it's ultimately his call and his responsibility.
So, yes -- if there are changes on Chase Elliott's team, and there will be, I wouldn't be surprised if we see a crew chief shakeup. It happens all the time in NASCAR and when your most popular driver misses the playoffs because of a bad fuel strategy, heads will roll.
And make no mistake about it, NASCAR needs Chase in the postseason. He's the sport's MPD, and he also drives the ratings. Hell, you saw it earlier this year when he returned to Martinsville from a six-week absence. Immediate boost.
No Chase in the playoffs, coupled with the same predicament NASCAR has every season in the fall -- football season -- could be a disaster in the Ratings Department.
Don't forget this little warning Chase himself gave the folks in marketing this time last year:
“Thirty-six, 45, 50, I don’t think it matters how many races we have,” he said before the post-Labor day race at Bristol.“But I don’t see any reason in competing against NFL football when that starts. In my opinion, that’s not a battle we’re ever going to win. I think we should be smart about that.”
Let's diffuse the tension with Hooters Gianna Tulio going cowgirl once again
This has been a heavy start to the week, which I don't usually like to do around here. This is a space for F-bombs, fights and WAGS -- not the downfall of Chase Elliott and potential firings.
That's not how I like to start a Monday, and ya'll deserve better.
Luckily, we have Ryan Blaney's girlfriend -- Hooters Gianna Tulio -- to get us back on track. I usually save her for the end, but we needed a pick-me-up today so I called an audible like the veteran QB I am.
Omaha!
Ty Gibbs calls out all the losers in the NASCAR Xfinity Series
Hey! Gianna makes a cameo in the Dunne Family Photo Album! What a time to be alive.
Thanks for getting us back on track, Gianna. Once again, you came through in the clutch like the MMPS OG you are.
Now, let's head on down to the Xfinity Series -- that's the minor league affiliate of the Cup Series, for those new here -- and check in on Ty Gibbs.
Ty -- who was promoted to the big league this season after winning an Xfinity title last fall -- has apparently forgotten where he came from.
Humble beginnings my ass!
Denny Hamlin sucks
There is no pettier comeback than the backhanded congrats with a passive aggressive you suck and I'm far superior blended in. So demoralizing.
Sam Mayer, by the way, is 100% right. I despise when the Cup regulars go down to the Xfinity and Truck races and dominate the entire thing and lap the field. It's so stupid. It would be like Patrick Mahomes going back to Texas Tech and suiting up against Wyoming in two weeks.
Or Shohei Ohtani going down to the minors and hitting tanks against some 18-year-old who was in math class like three months ago. Come on.
Still, big fan of the pettiness. That's always welcome around these parts -- especially when the racing on Sundays is trash.
Speaking of garbage drivers, let's check in with the fine folks around Watkins Glen to see who their favorite one is!
Kyle Busch can hold a grudge and Bubba Wallace inspires us to start the week
Love it. So straight forward and to the point. No passive aggressiveness in that shirt. That's just pure, unfiltered aggression -- and that's the best kind, by the way.
Obviously he's a Chase Elliott fan (check the hat). Duh. That's in the rulebook at this point.
Let's hit a couple more quickies before we load up the NASCAR haulers and head to the regular season-finale at some place called Daytona.
We'll start with Kyle Busch, who apparently can hold a grudge with the best of 'em:
Grandma Busch saves the day! I'd imagine any family dinner at the Busch household is must-see TV. Kurt and Kyle are absolute wild cards, while Queen Samantha is probably off taking bikini selfies for Instagram between courses.
What a family.
Finally, here's OutKick fan favorite Bubba Wallace giving us some much-needed inspiration as we head to Daytona.
Bubba apparently needed to just shut the hell up before taking the wheel at the Glen. Once he did that, it was smooth sailing.
Off to Daytona (come say hi if you're there!).