Great, Now Folded Dollars May Be Laced With Fentanyl & We're Not Allowed To Pick Them Up

Listen, I have bad news for everyone. Not only is gas $5 and $6 a gallon to fill up your new Jeep Wagoneers, now comes word that police want you to be very careful if you see folded dollars laying on the ground because they could be laced with fentanyl and it could kill you.

And there's a f--king tampon shortage! Talk about the worst summer ever.

According to the Giles County Sheriff’s Office (TN), officers have had two separate incidents where fentanyl-laced dollars were found at a gas station and this is raising huge red flags amongst the fuzz community.

"This is a very dangerous issue!" Sheriff Kyle Helton's office warned in a Facebook post. "Please share and educate your children to not pick up any folded money they may find in or around businesses, playgrounds, etc., without using great caution and even alerting a parent or guardian."

In a separate Facebook post, the sheriff in Perry County (TN) announced that children should be educated "to not pick up the money."

Seriously, this is where we're at as a society.

"I personally plan to push for legislation for a bill that would intensify the punishment, if someone is caught using money as a carrying pouch for such poison," Sheriff Nick Weems announced on Facebook.

"It enrages me as a father and the Sheriff, that people can act so carelessly and have no regard for others well being, especially a child. I hope we find the ones responsible."

Remember the days when finding a dollar laying around meant you were super close to financing a hot dog and unlimited refills from the Costco drink machine? Those really were the best of times. Now you have to be worry that the dollar might be carrying this disgusting drug that could leave you dead or turning tricks on a San Francisco street corner while shitting all down your leg.

Anyone ready to do something about this fentanyl thing so we can get back to picking up dollars again?

Laugh all you want about this whole money on the ground thing. Kentucky announced Monday that fatal drug overdoses -- attributed to fentanyl -- rose nearly 15% in 2021, which is a record death toll for the state.

Fentanyl was blamed for 73% of those drug overdose deaths.