CoronaBros Will Be Resurfacing Soon As New COVID Strain Hits US

The first U.S. case of a COVID-19 variant that was first seen in Britain has now been found in Colorado, according to governor Jared Polis.

The CoronaBros couldn't be more excited, as they now a have new hope to shut local businesses down for good.

Gov. Polis released a statement via Twitter.

"There is a lot we don't know about this new COVID-19 variant," he wrote. "But scientists in the United Kingdom are warning the world that it is significantly more contagious. The health and safety of Coloradans is our top priority and we will closely monitor this case, as well as all COVID-19 indicators."

"We are working to prevent spread and contain the virus at all levels."

A late Christmas present for COVID enthusiasts to beg for more government control and further restrictions. Any time a statement from government says "your safety is a top priority", that means they intend to make decisions on your behalf. State governors in suits will begin taking action to protect you from yourself. They don't think we're capable of making those choices ourselves.

This was always the plan

As soon as capable Americans started realizing that flu cases have disappeared and this whole thing might be a scam-- a new much more dangerous strain appears out of thin air. Suddenly, science huggers can race back to their anonymous Twitter profiles and shout down anyone protecting the freedoms of small business owners.

We're nearing the breaking point where our people fight back from total control, so brace yourselves. It's about to get ugly.