Brooks Koepka Angry About 'Brutally Slow' Masters Play; Everyone Assumes He Means Patrick Cantlay

As an amateur golfer -- and I even use that term very loosely -- there is one thing that bothers me above all else: slow play. As one of my close friends is fond of saying: "If you're playing good, play fast. If you're playing bad, play faster." Count Brooks Koepka among those in agreement. Count Patrick Cantlay among those not.

Following a five-hour final round at the Masters, the media asked Koepka about the pace-of-play.

"The group in front of us was brutally slow," Koepka said to reporters. "Jon went to the bathroom like seven times during the round, and we were still waiting."

Apparently, hydration is the key to winning the Masters. Because Rahm peeing seven times in five hours means that boy was HYDRATING. At least I hope he was peeing. He did have that stomach bug a few weeks ago...

But, back to the matter at hand. The group in front of Rahm and Koepka consisted of Patrick Cantlay and Viktor Hovland.

Jon Rahm and Brooks Koepka wait on the tee box at the Masters, probably for Patrick Cantlay to finish. (Photo by Andrew Redington/Getty Images)

Theoretically, he could have been speaking about one or both players. But Twitter sleuths surmised that Hovland wasn't at fault. In fact, he seems to agree with Koepka.

Hovland making his way to the green while Cantlay hits is considered bad etiquette. But not quite as bad as....

Playing a greenside shot while your competitor is still walking up the fairway certainly isn't something professional players make a habit of doing. Especially not ones competing for a major championship on a Sunday.

Unless, of course, you're trying to tell your playing companion to "hurry the hell up."

Brooks Koepka seemingly takes shot at Patrick Cantlay for slow play at the Masters

I will confess that I am a Patrick Cantlay fan. He went through hell with regards to injury to get his career back on track and he's one of the best players in the world.

But he is quite ... meticulous, shall we say.

In fact, when the broadcast cuts to Cantlay lining up a putt, I usually pick up my phone. I know it's going to be at least 30 seconds before the putter makes contact with the golf ball. Actually, fun tip: Cantlay isn't going to actually hit the putt until his front foot moves backwards.

Now, you'll never be able to not recognize it. You're welcome.

See how the very last thing that front foot does is move backwards? That's how you know you can start paying attention.

That's from January of last year, by the way, so this has been going on for a while.

Koepka isn't the only one complaining, either. Twitter was PISSED that Cantlay held up play, delaying the inevitable conclusion of Rahm's Masters victory.

Look, I'm all for faster golf play. But if Hovland or Koepka blame Cantlay for their own poor play on Sunday, that's bad form.

He could play faster, and should play faster, but that's not why those two struggled.

Rahm played in the same group as Koepka. He shot 69. Nice.

Clearly, it didn't knock him off of his game.

Luckily for Koepka, he doesn't have to deal with it. He's headed back to LIV and Cantlay continues on the PGA Tour.

Until the PGA Championship next month. I, for one, hope the governing body has a sense of humor and pairs Koepka and Cantlay together.

Oh, please let that happen.