You'll Never Guess Why This Newly Bisexual Country Singer Is Having Trouble Closing The Deal

New(ish) bisexual country singer Maren Morris can't find a man woke enough for her, which, to be fair, seems like a big ask. 

Morris – who ain't exactly Loretta Lynn - but whatever, this isn't about the state of country music – came out as bisexual last summer. She did it in June, which is also Pride month. Haven't you heard?! Well, it used to be, at least. Not sure that one survived Trump's early rounds of executive orders. We'll find out soon!

Anyway, she's recently divorced, and decided to dabble in both men and women. At the time, she said her next partner would have to be a "spectacularly impressive individual to add something to my life." Sounds like a real peach, doesn't she? 

Unfortunately, it seems Maren has had some trouble nailing down the right person. In a recent interview with The Cut, she admitted to falling victim to … dudes posing as liberals just to get with her!

What a move. 

Part of Morris’s healing journey involved reentering the dating pool and joining Raya — where she’s swiping through men and women whenever she’s not bogged down with work or co-parenting her 5-year-old. 

Even broaching the topic makes her shudder now: "I feel like a toddler at dating, all knock-kneed," she says through giggles. 

Together, we bemoan the "new mutant strain of fake liberal men … who pose as progressive dudes on dating apps" (earlier this year, I fell victim to one, and Morris thanks TikTok for alerting her to their existence).

Maren Morris is still searching 

Hilarious. Dudes are really just on dating apps now, posing as insufferable Libs so they can score the only demographic that's not a Trump voter – the college-educated woman. 

That's it! Everyone else is pretty much on board with Trump, except the female college grads. So, in order to stay afloat in the dating game, men are just acting like the worst type of person – a woke, progressive, insufferable Lib – in order to score dates with girls. 

Just imagine Maren here getting catfished by one of these dudes. The dinner conversation must be insane. One minute, you're talking about how bad you both feel about being white, and the next he whips out a MAGA hat and makes Maren spit out her soup. 

Sure, it's kind of a dick move. I'm not immune to that. It's not something I'd do, but I also didn't describe my ideal dating partner as someone who has to "add something to my life," and cannot, under any circumstance, "drain my resources … financially, emotionally, spiritually."

Maren's words, not mine!

Anyway, good luck to Morris. We're all rooting for you.